Something's missing
by foxfireaz
Summary: Jane is starting to realize that she is looking at Maura in a new light. She doesn't really know what's different but something has begun to change. A Rizzles story all the way. Bare with me, it's my 1st FanFic.
1. Hoyt Hauntings

**A/N: I will probably use a lot of music references throughout this story. Can anyone tell me the two songs in this chapter without looking it up? **

***OK, so I got some feedback that the bold italics of Jane's thoughts made it too distracting. I don't think the italics alone stand out enough but I want people to enjoy the story so I changed it back to my orginial format.***

* * *

I woke up to the sound of screaming. It was only when I was out of bed, holding my gun and frantically searching the room that I realized the noise had come from me. My clothes were soaked with sweat and my sheets were tangled. Putting the gun on my nightstand, I sat on the edge of the bed with my head in my hands.

_What the hell was that all about?_

Slowly the nightmare crept back into my thoughts. It was fluid and movie-like; images that I would rather never recall .

** Hoyt on top of me. Pinned to the floor by the scalpel driven through not one but both of my palms. Shots fired. Familiar voice. Cold, so cold. Korsak, yes, it was Korsak who found me. Then: Hoyt restrained in a hospital bed. Gravely voice haunting me. Maura screaming. Can't move. He's above me again. Have to keep him talking. Maura, Maura, where is she? Severe pain across my neck. Have to get to Maura. I hear her whimpering. He cuts her neck. Red; blind red rage is all I can see. The guard is no match for me. On the floor, struggling. I have the scalpel now. "I win. You're going to hell alone." **

I take several deep breaths and I realize that I am crying. Maura. I could have lost her that day. A sob escapes me and I curl back up in bed.

I woke up to Jo Friday licking my face. "Hey Jo", I said, as I pulled her close to me. "I hope you had a better nights sleep than I did" I shuttered as I remembered the events of a few hours ago. My head was pounding and I went to the kitchen to take something for it. I picked up my phone from the nightstand on my way to the bathroom. I had a text from Maura.

"Good morning, hope you slept well. Meet you in the café for coffee?"

I sent a quick reply before hopping in the shower. " Hey Maur, slept ok. Coffee sounds perfect"

Showering has to be one of the best parts of my day; it's where I do my best thinking. I replayed the nightmare in as much detail as I could manage. Nothing new, same images that were always there… my tragic dealings with Charles Hoyt. Something was different this time though; I couldn't quite put my finger on it. As the shower progressed, I started half humming, half singing a song. This happened a lot. Very often, I would wake up with what I called a 'song of the day' in my head. It happened with other things too. Seemingly random words, the name of a suspect or witness, a phrase, or even a picture of something. It would stick with me for a little while and then my day would consume me and it would be gone. Sometimes it stayed longer than others or would reappear for more than one day. Maura, says that it is basically my subconscious mulling something over. So today's song is not one I recognize right away but I must know it somehow to have it rattling around in my head. I can only seem to repeat two lines and have only a vague idea of the melody. Over and over it plays in my head…

"The worst is over now and we can breathe again. I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain . . . Away"

I make a mental note to remember the lyrics so I can look it up online later. I get out of the shower and look at my phone again. Another text from Maura.

"Fantastic. See you soon! " A smile spread across my face. I felt the nightmare and headache ebbing away.

_This might not be such a bad day after all._

Jo Friday looked up at my expectantly. "Don't give me that look, I will feed you in a minute", I said to the tiny dog. She seemed to find that acceptable enough and trotted out of the room.

_Hmmm, no phone calls yet. Maybe the streets of Boston were safe for one night. Good, I have a lot of paperwork to catch up on._

I finished getting dressed and headed to the kitchen to feed Jo. I decided not to eat since I was meeting Maura for coffee and didn't want to waste anymore time. Grabbing my keys and throwing Jo one last look, I left the apartment.

"The worst is over now and we can breathe again. I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain . . . Away"

_Damn! I HAVE to look that song up before it drives me crazy!_

* * *

I arrived at the station and made my way to the café.

"Hey Ma, what's cooking today?" I said to my mother, Angela, who was refilling the pastries.

"Hi Janie. I can make you anything you want. How about an omelet?

"Ummm, I'm not sure yet. I will start with a coffee. Hey, where's Maura? We were supposed to meet here."

"Oh, she said she had to run down to her office first. She should be back any minute."

Just then, I heard the click of high heels approaching. Maura touched my arm to get my attention away from the pastries I was eyeballing.

"I certainly hope you plan on eating more than that for breakfast" Maura said as I turned to look at her.

I suddenly felt lightheaded.

_ Maybe that headache did more of a number on me than I thought . I guess I do need to eat something._

Maura stood smiling at me. I suddenly thought of the song again. Despite the food cooking in the café all I could smell was the mixture of conditioner and perfume that was washing over me. It was overwhelming and intoxicating and I simply couldn't move.

Maura touched my shoulder. "Jane? Jane, are you alright?" She looked suddenly very concerned and I somehow snapped out of my daze.

"I… I think I just need to eat." I stammered. "I think I will take that omelet now, Ma"

"Ok sweetie. Maura, what can I get you?"

"I will have coffee, a fruit bowl, and perhaps a whole wheat bagel with just butter please."

I managed to sit myself down at a table with Maura settling in across from me.

"Are you sure you're feeling ok, Jane? You don't look like you slept well." Maura asked again.

I sighed. " Honestly, I didn't sleep well at all. " I peered up at her from my coffee before continuing. " I had a nightmare and I woke myself up screaming" I confessed.

Maura's eyes grew big and she really looked worried now. " Can you talk about it? Was it Hoyt again?" She asked.

"Yeah, it was him." I took a sip of coffee and looked away.

"Well? What happened in the dream?" Maura asked.

"Same thing that always happens… I go through every single detail and moment from every encounter I've ever had with him. " I noticed Maura watching me rub my hands.

"Are your hands bothering you?" She asked, knowing full well that was my unconscious response whenever I was upset or nervous.

"It just… it just reminds me, ya know? Everyday I look at my hands and there is the reminder of HIM and what he did to me…to us." I looked down into the coffee cup trying to think of a way to change the subject. Maura was not having it.

She reached across the table taking my free hand in hers. I shivered slightly.

_ Woah, that's new. I really need to get over this nightmare… it's really messing with my head . _

Maura cocked her head to the side for a second.

"Jane, I heard a song once that says '…scars are souvenirs you never lose, the past is never far…' I don't recall what the name of the song is but it is quite lovely."

" YOU don't remember a fact and yet you are using it as an example? That is quite unlike you Dr. Isles!" I interrupted.

" Jane, quit trying to change the subject. You can't just ignore your feelings about what happened to you. What I was trying to say was that those scars on your hands are proof of how brave and strong you are. "

I rolled my eyes. Maura frowned slightly and continued.," It's true. You are the strongest person I know and I truly believe that it comes from your experiences, the good and the bad." She was holding my hand again and looking at me with such sincerity.

"You really think I'm that strong? Boy, I've got you fooled." I rolled my eyes again and tried to lean back but she wouldn't let go of my hand.

"Jane, stop trying to blow this off. It's important that you face it. Would you like me to recommend someone that you can talk to?"

"Maura, I'm not seeing a shrink. Besides, I have you to talk to."

"I'm not that kind of Doctor and you know it. Why are you fighting me on this?" Maura said.

I could feel myself starting to get more upset. " I don't want to talk about this anymore! " I pulled my hand from Maura's just as Ma was putting our plates down.

"Everything ok over here, girls?" Angela asked.

Maura spoke up, " Jane was been having…" "Everything is great, Ma…" I interrupted, shooting Maura a 'don't even think about it' look.

Angela paused to look at both of their faces. She was either convinced that nothing was wrong or she decided not to pursue it. She went back to the counter to help the waiting customers.

"Why did you say you were fine? It's not true." Maura asked.

" I don't want to talk about the dream and I REALLY don't want Ma to know about it. Can you please drop it and promise not to say anything?" I pleaded.

She looked at me like she could see into my soul and I shivered again. If Maura noticed, she didn't let on.

_Her eyes are amazing. The way the color of her hair brings out the golden tones but then her sweater brings out the green. Wow. What am I thinking? What the hell is wrong with me?_

I shook the thought away.

"I will only drop this conversation for now but we WILL talk about it, Jane. I am very concerned about you. My place. Tonight. You bring the wine and I will pick out a movie. We will talk and I promise not to say anything to Angela. Deal?" Maura raised an eyebrow waiting for my answer.

_Her place tonight. Why does that make me really happy? We have done movie night tons of times, why am I so excited for this night? God, I really need to get to work and get my mind off this._

"Jane?" Maura started looking worried again.

"What? Oh, right, sorry….yeah, sure movie night sounds great. But no subtitles this time, I don't want to be bored to tears." I smiled and this seemed to satisfy Maura's concerns.

" You could use a little more culture in your life, Jane Rizzoli" Maura quipped.

"Yeah, but that's what I got you for" I winked and turned to leave. "See ya."

I left the café and headed to my desk in Homicide, not realizing I was grinning like a fool. Little did I know, Maura's eyes followed me until I was out of sight, a small smile on her lips.

* * *

**_A/N: So nothing too eventful in this chapter but I am trying to set the tone and all that. Again, this is my 1st attempt at a FanFic so I hope it is acceptable. I would love some feedback, so don't hesitate to submit reviews. Thanks._**


	2. Boredom sets in

**_A/N: This chapter is still setting the stage for what's to come. It's not very action-packed but I think it kind of tells you were Jane's head is at. If only SHE could read this because she basically has very little clue as to what is going on in her own head._**

* * *

_Come on, phone, ring. God, I just wish something would happen, this paperwork is boring the hell out of me! I wonder what Maura is up to; I haven't heard from her since breakfast. Maybe she has something I could help with. _

I tried to sit up straight at my desk. I looked around and everyone seemed to be busy with something. Frost was out getting a late lunch and who knows where Korsak was; probably saving a stray animal somewhere.

I continued to fidget. I picked up my phone to text Maura but figured I would just head down to see her instead.

_I gotta get away from this desk! _

I make a quick detour to the café to pick up some coffee for me and Maura. I look up to see Ma talking to a customer. We wave and I head downstairs. The elevator ride seems to take an eternity.

_I wonder what I should wear tonight? Or what wine I should get? Mmmm, tonight… what the hell is so special about it? Since when do I worry about what I will wear…I usually show up with whatever I already have on. What a weird day._

I pop my head into Maura's office, only to find it empty. I give one of the autopsy doors a shove my shoulder and set the two cups of coffee on the counter nearby. Maura has her back to the door and is slightly leaning over a body. She hasn't heard me come in yet so I just stand there not being able to move again. I notice her lift her head and before she can turn around to catch me standing there, I finally speak up.

"Hey." I manage.

_Brilliant, Rizzoli… you are truly a master of the English language. I mentally slap my forehead._

Somewhat startled but always composed, Maura replies, "Oh. To what do I owe this honor? Let me guess, you have no current case and you're bored out of your mind? Have you been fidgeting at your desk ALL day or just recently?" She smiled sweetly at me.

_Damn, how does she know me SO well? _

"Hey! I've gotten stuff done!" I retort.

"Really? I bet your desk is immaculate and newly organized. Care to place a wager on it?" Maura countered.

"I'm just so bored!" I whined. "There's ALWAYS something to do and I just can't take sitting around anymore waiting for something to happen. What are you working on, by the way?"

" Oh, just a routine autopsy… no apparent foul play. "Maura said.

"Don't look so disappointed." She added.

I tried to hide the look on my face but as always, Maura caught it.

_Is she always this observant? _

For some reason this thought makes me nervous and I look away to stare at the floor.

"Is there anything I can help you with, anything at ALL?" I ask, hoping that she saves me from this bland day.

"Oh Jane, there really isn't, I'm afraid. I have an idea, why don't you go home and take Jo Friday for a walk or maybe you can go for a run?" Maura offered. "You really can't do much more here today and if a homicide occurs you know they will call you. Besides, you would be better to put your energy into something that will relax you. Don't wear yourself out though, I don't want you passing out during our movie OR our talk about your nightmare." She ended her sentence with a smirk.

"Awww come on, Maura, I don't want to talk about my nightmare!" I huffed.

"Jane, we discussed this earlier and you promised we could talk about it later. Now, go home. I will see you in a couple of hours. Don't forget the wine, please. I'm in the mood for a red, perhaps a Cabernet Sauvignon?" Maura shrugged, "Doesn't really matter though, you decide. See you soon."

With that, Maura spun on her heels and turned her attention back to her Y-incision. The discussion was apparently over and won by Dr. Isles. I just stood there staring at her back.

_Damn it, how does she always manage to do that!?_

I decide not to fight it and take her suggestion. She is right, after all.

_How can one person be SO right all of the time? And how come that person never seems to be ME?_

I turned to go and remember our coffee sitting by the door.

"Oh, I forgot to tell you, I picked up a coffee for you." I mentioned.

"That's so sweet, Jane! You're always thinking of me." Maura turned and offered a grateful smile.

My stomach did a weird kind of flip. I could only manage a quick smile as I turned to leave.

_I'm not ALWAYS thinking of her._

_Why am I being so defensive? She just meant it as a compliment, relax. What are you getting so worked up about? Maybe I do need some exercise to relax. Damn you, Hoyt for getting inside my head yet again._

* * *

I arrived home to find a very excited Jo Friday.

"Hey girl, did ya have a good day?"

Jo wagged her tail that much harder as if to respond. I smiled down at her.

_OK, what to do? Maybe a little boxing… no, I want to get out of the house. Go for a run? Hmm…nah, not feeling THAT motivated. Ok, maybe I will take Maura's other suggestion… take Jo Friday for a walk._

I headed into the bedroom to change clothes. I grabbed my iPod and instantly I'm reminded of the song I woke up with in my head.

_Oh, yeah, I need to look that song up._

I decide to take a few minutes and fire up my laptop before I forget about the song again.

_I'm not really sure why it's so important, it's just some random song. Although, it did hit me pretty hard this morning. _

I pull up YouTube and pause over the keyboard with the cursor blinking at me in the search box. I closed my eyes.

_Ok, how did that go again. Think._

I wince slightly as the memories of the nightmare slowly flash back through my mind.

_I don't want to think about all of this, I just want to remember the song. Damn it._

I sigh and lean my head back on the couch. Suddenly, something that Maura said to me floats back into my thoughts. I rub my hands unconsciously.

_Oh, yeah, my scars._

I smile as I remember Maura not letting go of my hand in the café. I feel a slight tremor go through me. Warm, soft, smooth hands… Maura's hands on mine. Surprisingly strong. I open my eyes and begin typing the lyrics that she quoted to me.

"…scars are souvenirs you never lose, the past is never far…"

The YouTube results were unanimous … "Name" by The Goo Goo Dolls.

I decide to buy the song on iTunes without even listening to it.

_If Maura likes it and quoted it to me, then I will certainly like it. Of course, because once again… she's more often than not, right. _

I decide to forgo my search for the song I woke up with since nothing was coming to me. I was getting anxious to begin my walk with Jo. I got her leash attached, put in my ear buds, hit play and headed out for our walk. The second "Name" started playing, I recognized it.

_Of course! I can't believe I didn't remember it. It was one of the most popular songs around the end of high school. _

I stopped in my tracks when the part of the song that Maura quoted came up. I got a slight chill and looked around for any evidence of the wind picking up. The trees were still. I began to understand why she thought that line was so important. Hoyt left me with a lot of damage but nothing I couldn't or can't overcome. The physical pain has healed, leaving me with these scarred hands. The cut to my neck was so clean that it left almost no mark at all. Only in the right light and conditions could you see a hint at what had once been there. I wondered just then if you could see a scar on Maura's neck where Hoyt had cut her just as he had me. The emotional damage is what I really have to contend with. That much was evident from last night's frenzied dream. I didn't really want to have the conversation that I knew would transpire tonight but maybe, just maybe talking to Maura would help. After all, she WAS there too. I frowned at the thought just as the song ended. I set the song to repeat and picked up my pace. Jo seemed happy for the extra momentum, her tail wagging happily along in the rhythm of our steps.

_I should never have let Maura come with me to the hospital that day. I should have known better._

Hoyt was beyond calculating. It obviously didn't matter that he was strapped to the hospital bed and a guard was present. He always had a trick up his sleeve.

_Not anymore._

It was true that he could no longer hurt me or anyone that I loved but I had to wonder how long his legacy would haunt me.

I came back towards the apartment, concluding our walk. As soon as I opened the door, I was struck with part of the line from the song I thought about all morning.

"…I wanna hold you high…"

Not knowing if that was enough to go on, I typed the sentence into the YouTube search box. Sure enough, it led me right to my answer.

The song was "Broken" by Seether and Amy Lee.

I couldn't believe I didn't pick up on that.

_I'm usually much better with things than that. I AM a damn Detective!_

Annoyed at myself, I hit the play button for the video. I carried my laptop into the bathroom, preparing to shower. The second the guitar riffs started I felt a sensation flood my senses. I sat numbly on the edge of the bathtub.

Amy Lee's verse hit me the hardest because it was the only part of the song that I had in my head since this morning:

"…the worst is over now, and we can breathe again. I want to hold you high and steal your pain. There's so much left to learn and no one left to fight. I want to hold you high and steal your pain… "

An image leapt into my mind: Maura laying across a hospital bed, incapacitated from a Taser wand, and bleeding from the cut in her neck made by none other than, Charles Hoyt.

Several things happened at once from recalling this image: My stomach turned, my head spun, I clenched the side of the tub, my face grew hot and tears started streaming down my face.

_Maura, I'm so sorry… you should never have been there that day. I could've lost you forever._

With that thought, I broke into uncontrollable sobs and sunk to the bathroom floor, folding my legs to my chest.


	3. Movie night

I woke up sometime later, still curled up on the bathroom floor. Jo was snuggled up against me; she lifted her head to give me a concerned look. I had no idea how long I had been asleep. I got up and stretched before retrieving my phone from the other room. No calls or texts. 6:30pm.

_Oh good, I still have time. I can't believe I fell asleep like that. Although, it's not like I slept much the night before. _

I showered quickly and went to the bedroom to get dressed.

_What to wear, what to wear…? Why am I giving this so much thought? I'm just going to hang out at Maura's. _

I decide on a plain black t-shirt and some of my better looking gray workout pants.

_Hair up or down? What the hell is WRONG with me. Maura doesn't care how I do my hair, why should I?_

I leave my hair down and with a quick look in the mirror, I leave the bedroom. As an afterthought, I decide to bring Jo Friday along. She hasn't been to Maura's in awhile and she always seems so fascinated with Bass. Luckily, I remember to stop for wine. It's a cool night, so I put the car windows down a little and promise Jo my quick return. Inside the store, I ask the clerk for a wine suggestion. I tell him what kind I want and he picks a few for me to choose from. I grab the slightly more expensive bottle, hoping that Maura will enjoy it. While waiting to pay, I send her a quick text.

" Hi. About to leave the store and then I will be right over."

Walking to the car, I got a text back from Maura, "Ok, sounds good. I'm almost home."

I drive slow so Maura has time to get there before I do. I don't want her to feel rushed if I arrive first. Jo spends the trip eagerly watching the scenery from the passenger seat. I tap my fingers on the steering wheel while humming "Name". When I pull up to Maura's house, the lights are on inside and I know she made it there before me. Jo followed me out of the car and carrying the wine, I make my way to the front door. Maura answers promptly and greets me with a warm smile. I inhale sharply. Even though I saw her earlier at work, she looks different somehow. Once again, I am motionless.

"Jane, I really wish you would just come in. You don't have to knock, you know."

"I… I wouldn't want to be rude or interrupt any plans you may have." I stammered.

"The only plans I have are with you, silly. Please come in." Maura said, as she stepped aside.

She stooped down when she saw Jo patiently awaiting her attention.

"Hello, Jo Friday, what an unexpected pleasure."

"Maur, I got the Cabernet Sauvignon. I asked the guy what I should get and this looked like the best choice."

Maura was still squatted down petting Jo and the way she was looking up at me was somewhat distracting.

She stood and took the wine from my hand. Her index finger grazed mine and I experienced another shiver.

"Are you cold, Jane?" Maura asked, noticing the subtle change in me.

"Um, maybe a little." I turned to close the door and tried not to let her look too closely at my face.

_Honestly, I am really wound up today. I need to chill out already._

"I picked up some Chinese food, I hope you don't mind… I didn't feel like cooking." Maura said, while opening the wine.

"Oh, Maur…I'm such a jackass! I could've picked something up, I left work way before you did. I'm sorry."

"It's ok, Jane. I know you have been a bit out of sorts today. It was no trouble, really. Besides, you picked up this fabulous wine. I've never had it before but it smells delightful." Maura flashed a brilliant smile at me.

I instantly felt much better. Just being in her presence had a calming effect on me and there was nowhere I would rather be. I returned her smile and went to the cupboard to grab some plates.

"Shall we eat at the table or the couch?" Maura inquired.

"How about the table?" I offered.

Normally, I would choose the couch, given the option but for some reason the dinner table sounded like the better choice. I opened the take-out boxes and dumped the food out onto our plates. Maura finished pouring the wine. We took our places opposite each other and I raised my glass towards Maura. She returned the gesture with a gentle clink of our glasses.

"I'm really glad to be here, Maur… thanks." I said quietly.

"It's my pleasure. I've looked forward to it all day."

I glanced up. Her hair was framing her face as she scooped up a fork-full of food. She peeked up at me while she still had her head down. I was stopped in my tracks mid-bite and sat there holding my fork in my mouth.

_Oh my God, that green sweater looks really good on her. I can't believe how it makes her eyes light up._

I remembered having a similar experience at breakfast and instantly felt my cheeks flush.

"This wine is heavenly. You did a great job picking it out. How's your food?" Maura asked, while blotting her mouth with her napkin.

"I didn't really do anything, the clerk did most of the work. I'm glad you like it though. The food is really good, thanks." I answered shyly.

_Does she always wipe her mouth that much? Is she wearing lipstick or are her lips normally that red? Holy shit, why can't I stop being weird today?_

I took a rather large gulp of wine, looking anywhere but at her. I glanced around and found Jo napping next to Bass, who was currently enjoying some lettuce.

As we were finishing up dinner, Maura said, "If you don't know mind, I'd like to take a quick shower before we settle in for the movie."

"Uh, ok…of course. I will just clean up a bit in the meantime." I offered.

"Oh, thank you. I will be out in a jiffy, I promise."

I opened the cupboard to get some of Jo's food that I keep there for times when Maura watches her for me. I put her dinner down in front of her, which promptly woke her up. I ruffled her fur and walked to the counter to pour myself more wine. I turned on Maura's stereo and hit play on her iPod. I settled down on the couch just as an opera started pouring from the speakers. Not usually my style but it was so soothing I didn't bother getting up to pick something else. I could hear the shower running in the other room.

* * *

"Jane?" I heard Maura say softly.

"Hmmm?" I murmured.

"Jane, you fell asleep. Do you still want to watch the movie or should I just let you sleep?"

I felt a warm hand on my forearm.

"Mmmmm"

I felt my hair being brushed away from my face. Recognition started to wake me. I sat up abruptly.

"Whoa, I… I fell asleep? Oh, man, I'm sorry. How long was I out?" I said frantically.

Maura looked a little surprised at my sudden movement, " Not long, I just finished with my shower. If you're that tired we can do a rain check on the movie… I know you probably need your rest."

I sat there, taking in the scene. Maura sitting on the coffee table leaning towards me wearing burgundy colored satin pajamas. Her hair was slightly damp and my nose was suddenly overwhelmed with her conditioner for the second time that day. I could feel the heat from the shower coming off of her and it only heightened my senses. I realized I was holding my breath. She sat patiently, gazing into my eyes, waiting for some sort of response. Time seemed to stand still as we just stared at each other. Somehow, I found my voice.

"Movie. We should watch the movie." I managed.

She put her hand on my knee, "Are you sure? You seemed so peaceful when you were sleeping."

I looked at her hand on my knee and could feel the warmth spread throughout my body.

"Yes."

"Yes, what, Jane?"

"Umm… yes, I want to…" I looked at her face and tried to remember what the question was.

"Movie, yes…the movie would be good. I'm not sleepy and I feel fine."

She laughed softly, "You don't seem fine but movie it is!"

"So, what did you pick this time? No subtitles, right? Cuz, I will for sure fall asleep, ya know." I gave her a stern look.

"I know, you have told me PLENTY of times. I thought I would dust off an old favorite that I haven't seen in awhile… Fried Green Tomatoes."

"I don't think I ever saw that one." I replied.

"What? How could you NOT have seen it? It is a great film." Maura said with shock in her voice.

"Well, is it a chick-flick, cuz I like a little more danger and excitement in my movies." I countered.

"I don't know how to answer that, so you will just have to watch and find out." Maura challenged.

I crossed my arms, "It better not be a chick-flick or I'm not letting you pick any more movies"

"Just shush and get comfortable." Maura stood to put the movie in the DVD player.

I got up and grabbed the bottle of wine and Maura's glass from the kitchen. I topped off both of our glasses. I settled down on the right end of the couch and Maura sat somewhere between the other end and the middle. I couldn't help but notice how close she was. She leaned forward and picked up both of our glasses of wine, handing me mine. I was overly careful not to touch her as I reached to take it from her. She pressed play on the remote as I was trying to subtly watch her from the corner of my eye. If she noticed, she didn't show it. She had what appeared to be a giddy look of anticipation. A bright smile spread uncontrollably across her face as the opening scene started.

_Well, if this movie means so much to her and makes her smile like THAT…I really need to make an effort to like it._

After watching for awhile, I found myself leaning forward, eyes fixed on the screen. The characters were so endearing, brilliant…so easy to like. I was beginning to see what all the fuss was about. I felt Maura shift on the couch, tucking her legs under herself to the left. This meant she was that much closer to me. I instantly got goose bumps. I decided to split the last of the wine between us. The air shifted as she extended her hand the short distance so I could pour her share. I inhaled deeply.

_Has she always smelled so damn good? Is that a new conditioner or perfume? Maybe that's why I'm noticing it a lot today. _

Without thinking, I blurted out, " Is that a new perfume you have on? I noticed it earlier and meant to ask you."

I froze.

_Did I just say that out loud? Oh God, Oh God, oh God… maybe she didn't hear me. Shit._

She paused the movie as she turned to look at me. I couldn't help but think how cute it was that she always paused the movie when we started talking. I suppose it was her precise nature and perhaps her obvious love for the movie.

She considered my question for longer than I thought was necessary. "I'm not currently wearing a fragrance… just my body wash, shampoo, and conditioner. Let's see… earlier today was the same thing. I actually ran out of perfume and was considering trying something new."

Something about the words 'body wash' made my stomach feel a little lighter.

"Oh, ok… just wondering." I stuttered. I stared straight ahead taking a drink of wine. I was hoping she would just start the movie again but I felt her looking at me. Slowly I turned my head and tried to look as casual as possible. I raised an eyebrow at her and glanced at the TV.

"Were you going to hit play or…?" I asked.

"What do you think of it, Jane? I noticed you leaning forward earlier. You seemed to be enjoying it."

"It's ok, ya know. TOTAL chick-flick though." I rolled my eyes.

She lightly shoved me in the arm and I immediately blushed.

"Well, we ARE two 'chicks' so it works out perfect, don't you think?" I heard the grin in her voice.

My head whipped around and my mouth fell open. I searched her face for meaning.

"What?"

"Well, who better to watch your so-called 'chick-flick' than two women?" She grinned and cocked her head.

"OH! Right, right, of course, Still though, I could use a few car chases or something." I tried to recover my composure…not that I had much to begin with.

Satisfied with my answer, Maura started the movie again. I breathed a sigh of relief, leaned back, and chugged the last of my wine.

During an intense scene of the movie, I suddenly remembered my nightmare and how Maura had wanted to discuss it tonight. I stared straight ahead, gripping my legs, and holding my breath.

_Please, please, don't let her bring it up. I really don't want to think about the events of last night, let alone talk about it. _

I heard Maura gasp and glanced to see a tear sliding down her cheek. Not seeming to have ANY control of myself what-so-ever, I watched my hand reach out and wipe the tear away.

_WHAT ARE YOU DOING? MOVE YOUR HAND, RIZZOLI!_

Maura reached up to my lingering hand and wrapped her own around it.

"You're sweet, Jane. Has anyone ever told you that?" Maura said softly. "You have a warm loving heart and I think that's your biggest secret."

I was holding my breath again and was rendered speechless. Maura was still holding my hand. My mouth was dry. I was out of wine. I had no idea what to do. Getting no response, Maura simply opted to squeeze my hand and send me a look that said she understood that she embarrassed me. She knew I was no good at feelings. I'm a cop; a Detective, I HAD to be tough and emotionless.

_Who are you trying to convince? You have been an emotional wreck ever since last night. You're acting weird and irrational and just making no sense what so ever. SNAP OUT IT._

We watched the rest of the movie and I was starting to feel an odd fondness for it. Those two women had such a connection, such a bond.

_That reminds me of… OH. But wait, they're best friends too. They are there for each other like a friend should be. They stand up for each other and fight to protect one another. Nothing is off about that, right? That's totally normal. Idgie would do ANYTHING for Ruth. I get that. I would KILL someone if they dared hurt Maura. Oh god… I HAVE killed someone that hurt Maura. _

I slumped down against the back of the couch and felt tears rolling down my face. It all made sense… my nightmare… my odd behavior today. Hoyt. It always came back to Hoyt. I could almost see the smug look of satisfaction on his face just knowing that he was still getting to me. It's what he always wanted, after all.

He had his disgusting demented hands on her! He cut into her flesh after his minion shocked her with his Taser. A mixture of rage and sorrow coursed through my body. I felt myself rocking back and forth as a loud sob escaped me.

Maura was sitting on the coffee table in front of me in an instant. She was grabbing my arms and shaking me slightly.

"Jane! Oh my god, Jane what is wrong?"

I was sobbing so hard, I couldn't breathe. I was gasping and sputtering and shaking my head vigorously. I felt her hands on my face.

"Jane, Jane…please just look at me! Breathe, sweetheart… I just need you to breathe." Maura encouraged.

I finally gave in and looked into her frantic eyes.

_Breathe. Watch her breathe…match her breaths. Calm down. _

The tears subsided more out of sheer exhaustion than anything. I kept my eyes locked on her and she kept her hands on either side of my face. We breathed together; deeper and deeper. I felt myself calming down.

"I…" I tried to speak.

"Shhhh…don't talk." Maura soothed.

She moved to sit next to me again, pulling me down on the couch with her. I tensed up but she stood her ground. I was reminded again at how strong her hands were. I gave in. She shifted to the left further, bringing me along. We ended up laying next to each other, my head on her shoulder. She turned a little to give me more room and I was sure she would fall off the couch. I felt her kissing my forehead while one hand stroked my hair, clearing it from my face.

I tried to speak again and she just made more quiet 'shushing' noises at me. I was too tired to fight it.

I was warm. I felt safe.

_So safe. I don't think I have ever felt this safe. So tired…_

The last thing I remember was Maura's arms wrapping around me.


	4. French toast

**A/N: So, I wanted to include another part to this chapter but I added more to this first part and decided I like where it ended.**

* * *

I slowly was coming out of my sleep, taking a mental inventory as one sometimes does upon waking. I didn't remember having nightmares or even any dreams. I felt… comfortable; content. I stretched out my right arm and squeezed my pillow.

_Man, I haven't slept that good in a long time. Sure beats the night before._

I felt a shift and not quite understanding it, I slowly opened my eyes. The room was filled with soft sunlight. I kind of felt like I WAS dreaming. I lifted my head a bit.

_What…where…Maura? I don't understand._

My "pillow" as is turned out, was really Maura. I found myself laying on my left side with my right arm draped across her stomach. We were on the couch and she was on her back. Her right arm was wrapped around me and her left was tucked up under her head. She was still asleep. I didn't know what to do.

_Do I wake her? _

_Well, you're gonna HAVE to wake her in order to get up, dummy. _

_What the hell happened? _

I looked around the room as I became more alert. Couch, living room, wine glasses, tv….MOVIE!

_Oh, the movie. OH. The movie you put a stop to by hysterically sobbing and blubbering…yeah., THAT movie. _

My mind was racing. Maura still hadn't budged. I was pretty sure she wouldn't wake up unless I moved, so I carefully looked at her. It seemed like she was smiling faintly. She was flawless. Perfectly sculpted eyebrows, long eyelashes, and those red, red lips…

You have officially lost it, Rizzoli. This is your best friend. She comforted you when you were at your worst. And here you are, ogling her in her sleep! Who does that?

I looked at my arm across her midsection… it looked like it belonged there. It suddenly dawned on me that my right leg was resting on top of her legs.

_Isn't she uncomfortable? That can't feel good having someone's leg pinning your own legs down like that. Last night she said that I looked peaceful when I had fallen asleep while she was in the shower. However, SHE looks like all of the good in the world rolled up together in a nice Maura shaped package. _

Thinking about that somehow sent a warm rush all through my body. I glanced back down at our legs.

_Those satin pajamas are really something special. _

I could see the vague outline of her thighs through the satin under my leg. Her toes were beautiful just like the rest of her; painted in a shade of burgundy remarkably close to the color of the material she was wearing. She is always impeccable and immaculate.

_Beautiful…did you just think that? _

_Well, of course she's beautiful…there's nothing wrong with thinking that. Someone would have to be blind not to see that and even then, well… somehow I think they would know. _

I turned my attention back to her face. I couldn't fathom how someone, especially someone who just slept on a COUCH all night, could have not one hair out of place. She executed with precision even in her sleep. Maura was the most intelligent, warm, caring, open, honest and funny, yes funny, person that I knew. I have seen her do amazing things and I have never been more in awe of her than I was right at this moment. Without thinking, I leaned into her like I was going to lay my head down where it evidently had been all night. Just close enough, without touching… I didn't want to wake her.

I could smell the same enticing mixture that I had noticed twice the day before. I could feel the warmth coming from her neck. Her breathing was even and comforting. I had the overwhelming desire to listen to her heartbeat but knew that it couldn't be managed from this angle without disturbing her. I definitely didn't want to break the spell that she had me under. I would never have the chance to experience this again and I wanted it to last forever.

_I really must be dreaming…there is no way this is real. _

The subtle sunlight had shifted, illuminating her face and hair.

_How have I never noticed this before? WHY am I noticing now? I'm just keyed up about Hoyt and feeling overly emotional. Maura was doing what any best friend would do and I am just …_

_Just what?_

_I'm… uh, lonely…yeah, I'm feeling lonely and my emotions are mistaking Maura's platonic kindness as… something else. _

My fingers involuntarily stretched out to feel the satin of her pajama top. She still didn't move.

_Ok, you are officially a freak… you're practically feeling up your best friend while she is sleeping._

_Pervert!_

I just couldn't help myself… I leaned in closer to smell her hair. It brushed against my nose and lips. I wanted more. I leaned in further. I suddenly felt like I was outside my own body and watching from above. I felt myself lean in more than I ever imagined I would and I … softly kissed her neck.

"Mmmm…" Maura whispered.

_ OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. I did NOT just do that!_

I felt her arm tighten around me and her hand momentarily squeeze my upper arm. I froze, and then, completely flipped out. As gracefully and as quickly as I could, I basically jumped out from under her arm and up off the couch. I don't know how I even did it without injuring either of us. This of course, jarred Maura awake. She opened her eyes and found me fiddling with the DVD player; ejecting the disc and placing it back in the case.

"Hmmm, good morning." Maura murmured.

_Holy shit, her voice sounds good**.**_

"Hey Maura!", I said, a little too loudly.

I nervously started clearing our glasses and the empty wine bottle from the coffee table.

"How long have you been up, Jane?"

"Hmm? Oh, I…for a bit." I lied.

"That wine was amazing." She said, as she watched me cleaning up.

She stretched and I caught a glimpse of her stomach as her top shifted. My mouth fell open. She had her eyes closed as she yawned and continued to stretch. I managed to recover before she opened her eyes again.

I carried everything to the kitchen. I knew she couldn't see me since she was still laying down so I put my very hot cheek against the cool countertop.

"Is everything ok, Jane?" Maura said, suddenly somewhat close to me.

I jumped. "Ahh!"

Her eyes grew wide.

"Sorry… you scared me." I mumbled.

She just smiled and opened the refrigerator.

"Juice?" She asked, holding up a carton of orange juice.

"Sure. That sounds good. Be right back"

I wandered to the bathroom to use the toilet and perhaps slap some sense into myself. I splashed cool water on my face. I knew Maura kept extra toothbrushes and toothpaste in the cupboard so I helped myself. I stared in the mirror.

_What has gotten into you? Since when do you have the "hots" for your best friend? Since when do you KISS your best friend's neck, for Christ's sake? _

_Well, you can't stay in here forever… better go out there and face the music._

I gave my reflection a stern look and left the bathroom. Without thinking, I drank my orange juice, only to be immediately reminded of having just brushed my teeth.

"Yuck…" Maura looked up from the breakfast she was preparing. "Sorry, I already forgot I brushed my teeth." I said, holding my glass up as an explanation.

"Eww, I hate that!" She agreed. "How does French toast sound?" She glanced over her shoulder at me and perked up her eyebrows.

_She isn't acting any different. There's no way she is THAT good of an actress… the woman is simply incapable of lying. _

_Yeah but, there's just no possible way that she doesn't know what just happened. _

_Well, she DID seem to be sleeping pretty hard…_

"Jane? French toast?" Maura's voice snapped me to attention.

"Yes! Sounds great. You are SUCH a morning person. How is it you have been awake less than 10 minutes and you are already cooking?" I inquired.

"I don't know. I just love to cook and I really love to cook for someone besides myself." Maura concluded.

"Well, you know what they say, the way to…" I cut myself off.

_You CAN NOT finish that sentence, Jane Rizzoli! Shit, shit, shit. I really need to be more aware of what I am saying and doing! I've made so many slip-ups in the last 24 hours._

"You mean to say the way to your heart is through your stomach, Jane?"

For the millionth time since yesterday, this woman has me frozen in place.

_Oh Maura, you couldn't have just let that one go, could ya. And WHY does my name sound SOOOO good when you say it?_

I sighed dreamily; then remembered Maura had said something.

"Well, you know… that's how the saying goes and all that. So um, listen…about the movie last night… I'm sorry I ruined it." I hung my head.

I didn't really want to talk about my breakdown but I was so eager to steer the conversation away from 'ways to get to my heart,' that it was the first thing that came to mind.

Maura set down the whisk and walked over to me.

_Crap! This is not what I was going for here. I was deflecting, Maura…oh, don't come over here…don't…_

She did, She touched me.

_-sigh-_

Maura had her hands on both of my upper arms holding me firmly in place as she sat me down on a bar stool.

"You listen to me, Jane Clementine Rizzoli, you most certainly did NOT ruin anything. Do you hear me?" She said with such seriousness.

All I could do was stare into her eyes. The same eyes that watched me cry my heart out mere hours before. Once again, the warmth of her hands on me made everything just melt away.

"I know you're tough and you don't like to be emotional but you have to let stuff like that out or it will eat away at you. I've told you before, I think you are the strongest, bravest person I have ever met. Letting yourself feel emotion is not weak, it's healthy and strong. Don't you DARE be embarrassed or shy about sharing your feelings with me. I am your best friend, I am here for you and I love you." Maura's eyes were tearing up at the edges but she held it together.

Sensing that I couldn't or wouldn't say anything, Maura simply hugged me with every ounce of strength she had. It took me a second but I stood and gave her everything I had in return. This woman, for whatever reason, cared about me unconditionally it seemed and I didn't know what I did to deserve her friendship.

After what felt like a long time, but not long enough for me, we finally pulled apart. I noticed Maura wipe at her eyes and my heart broke a little.

"Now, let's see about that French toast." Maura said.


	5. The pitfalls of yoga

**A/N: OK, this is where you guys might hate me for a bit. Hopefully just for this and the next chapter. I felt it was necessary and I promise I will fix it in the end. Just stick with me for now. It's a necessary but temporary evil. :/ Thanks for all of your support...please feel free to keep the reviews coming. **

* * *

"Maura, I don't want to go to Yoga!" I whined. "It's Saturday, and we haven't gotten any calls from work. Which, may I point out is like some freak miracle. I don't want to twist myself into a pretzel today."

I folded my arms across my chest, determined to win this argument; I was confident I would.

"Besides, I haven't showered today and I have no other clothes." I smirked.

_Oh yeah, I'm winning this one. _

"Don't be ridiculous, Jane… who showers BEFORE yoga? And can I just point out that you are already wearing appropriate workout attire." Maura grinned.

I looked down. I forgot that I had worn a t-shirt and workout pants to her house the night before.

"Oh yeah, this is happening." Maura said triumphantly.

_Damn it! Like I said before, she is always right. I will never win against her. _

I sighed and conceded defeat.

"Fine, but don't think that I'm happy about this!" I huffed.

"You always say that and then you ALWAYS feel better after we finish. Don't be such a grump." She said, as she gently tapped the end of my nose once.

I tried to hold on to my scowl but she was just so damn cute, I couldn't keep from grinning.

_Why do I even bother trying to put up a fight? I wonder if she thinks the same thing. I always cave._

When we arrived at the yoga studio, we laid out our mats and did some light stretching. Brock, the instructor, was walking around chatting with everyone. He gave Maura an extra warm smile as he ran his hand through his thick black hair. He spoke with what I assumed was an Australian accent. He leaned over to help Maura with her stretch. I narrowed my eyes and scowled.

_I hate that guy._

It was a sudden and random thought but the only thing I could focus on. Disgusted for no apparent reason, I turned my head to the right as I stretched my arm. I caught a guy in the front row staring at me. I looked away quickly. Shifting to stretch my other arm, I glanced back at him and sure enough, he was getting another eyeful.

_Geez dude, stare much?_

"Ok, class, let's get started." Brock "The Hair" said. I rolled my eyes.

_Well, here we go…pretzel time. _

I was sulking and Maura just shook her head at me.

Throughout the session, I caught the front row guy looking at me every chance he got. Every twist and bend that allowed him to look, he took advantage of. I was beginning to feel even more uncomfortable than usual.

I studied his face, reminding myself to check for him in the system as soon as I was back at work. My phone rang and I bent down to retrieve it from where it was hidden under my mat.

"Hi Ma."

I heard a shushing from somewhere in the room.

"No, I'm not sure yet. Let me call…" I stopped when I noticed feet appear in front of me.

Leaning forward on my elbows, my eyes followed the feet up to see Brock giving me a patient but somewhat put-out look.

"…umm, yeah…gotta go, Ma." I offered a small apologetic smile to Brock.

He squatted down and rattled off some new-age mumbo jumbo to help me be more enlightened. Satisfied that he had done his job, he strode back to the front of the class. I tried to match the stance that everyone else was doing. Maura shot me a disapproving but playful look. I just shrugged. My stalker in the front had a huge smile on his face and winked at me. Alarmed and flustered, I fell out of my pose. This only broadened his smile and made me flush. Maura noticed the exchange between us and gave me an unreadable look.

_What's the deal with this guy? He's not very shy or subtle. _

I was relieved when we finished our final pose and I could unfold myself. I snuck a glance at Maura. She was glowing. She grinned at me and I couldn't help but return it. I felt someone standing near me; it was front row guy.

"Hello. My name is Jorge." He said, holding out his hand.

I shot Maura a look.

"I'm Jane." Shaking his hand.

"I haven't seen you here before."

I was waiting for him to say more but he just smiled at me.

"Uh, well, that's cuz I hate yoga… I was brought here against my will." I pointed a thumb in Maura's direction.

Maura leaned in, "Hi, I'm Maura." She offered Jorge her hand.

"Pleased to meet you both. Maybe I will see you here again sometime." Jorge smiled and with a nod, he returned to his mat.

"What was THAT all about?" I asked.

"Well, Jane, it would seem that Jorge likes you." Maura replied simply.

I searched her face. It revealed nothing.

"What do you want to get for lunch?" I asked.

"How about sandwiches from that great deli you introduced me to?" Maura suggested.

"Oh, good idea. I could totally go for a roast beef on sourdough and maybe some potato salad." I fantasized.

"Jane, you just did yoga for an hour and now you're going straight for red meat and carbs?"

"Well, yeah…I'm starving! Can we take the food back to your place? I feel gross and don't want to eat at the deli." I asked.

"Oh yes, I agree. Today's session was an extra tough workout and I can't wait to shower."

* * *

After eating lunch, I gathered up Jo Friday and decided to head home.

I had planned to shower immediately, but I ended up sitting down on the couch and then it was all over. Sitting turned into laying down, which turned into naptime.

I woke up an hour or so later. I sleepily looked around the living room. I glanced at my kick-boxing dummy; it gave me a smug look.

_Ok, tough guy… you're on. _

I grabbed my iPod and found my favorite workout song: "Titanium" by David Guetta and Sia.

It always gets me pumped up. I made sure it was on repeat.

_This dummy is gonna wish he was never born…er, made._

Sometimes when I'm nervous to go into a building or chase a suspect, this song plays in my head. It's kind of my internal theme song. There were times when dealing with Hoyt that it was the only thing that got me through. Well, except for that last time… that was all about saving Maura.

"I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose

Fire away, fire away

Ricochet, you take your aim

Fire away, fire away

You shoot me down but I won't fall

I am titanium

You shoot me down but I won't fall

I am titanium

I am titanium…"

I continue to pummel the dummy; afterall, he's got it coming. Yoga usually wears me out, but the nap seemed to have rejuvenated me. After three rounds of the song, I change it to shuffle. A couple of songs come on that help me relax and start my cool down. I'm half-way through a song when the lyrics start to make me pay more attention. I look at the screen to see what's playing: "Distance" by Christina Perri. I start the song over. After hearing the first line, I sink to the floor. Sitting cross-legged and leaning against the dummy, I listen intently.

"The sun is filling up the room

And I can hear you dreaming

Do you feel the way I do right now?

I wish we would just give up

Cause the best part is falling

Call it anything but love

And I will make sure to keep my distance

Say "I love you" when you're not listening

How long can we keep this up, up, up?

And please don't stand so close to me

I'm having trouble breathing

I'm afraid of what you'll see right now

I give you everything I am

All my broken heart beats

Until I know you understand

And I will make sure to keep my distance

Say "I love you" when you're not listening

How long can we keep this up, up, up?

And I keep waiting

For you to take me

You keep waiting

To save what we have

So I'll make sure to keep my distance

Say "I love you" when you're not listening

How long can we keep this up, up, up?

Make sure to keep my distance

Say "I love you" when you're not listening

How long til we call this love, love, love?"

I discover I've had my mouth open for the almost 4 minutes that the song played. I select repeat and it starts over. The only thing I could think about was Maura. Waking up this morning with the sun doing EXACTLY what the song described. Waking up with HER; on the couch; with her arm around me. The feeling of not being able to breathe when she was near me.

_Love? Is that what this is? Is it possible that I LOVE my best friend? Well, of course, I love her but this is more than that. This can't be right. I mean, neither of us LIKE chicks… do we? Do I? No… I like guys. She likes guys. Guys were flirting with us at yoga just a few hours ago. There has to be some other explanation._

* * *

I don't know how long I sat there, listening to the song over and over. The sound of Jo barking broke me free of my thoughts. Hitting pause, I listened to see what she was barking about. There was a knock at the door.

Still lost in thought, I yanked open the door to find Dr. Maura Isles. My stomach seized up and my mouth went dry. She was wearing a champagne colored dress that fell off her shoulders. Her hair was down and looked like it had been curled. I just blinked at her.

"Jane, I've been calling and texting…where have you been?" Maura exclaimed, brushing past me.

She was wearing heels and I noticed the effect that had on her calves right before she turned around; I managed to bring my eyes back up before she completed her turn.

"I've been here the whole time but I was working out and didn't hear anything until Jo barked." I said, pointing to my iPod.

"Oh. Well, go shower, we have dates."

"Wha… excuse me?" I stammered.

"You and I have a double date with the guys from yoga, Brock and Jorge." She answered simply.

"Now, go shower and wear something nice, maybe a dress...?" Her eyebrows lifted.

"I…How did this happen?"

"Brock called me this afternoon and said Jorge really likes you, so he suggested we all go out tonight."

With no response from me, she gave me an encouraging shove towards my bedroom.

"I will occupy myself… you just go get ready. We are meeting them at the restaurant in 45 minutes."

I was so dumbfounded, I couldn't even put up a fight.

_Maybe this is exactly what you need… go out with a guy and get your mind off whatever it is that is making you think crazy-thoughts about Maura. _

I decided that I would go along with it and not try to fight it like I normally would.

* * *

After showering, I picked out a simple black short-sleeved top and a knee-length dark gray skirt. I liked the outfit because it felt like I was a wearing comfy t-shirt. I needed all the comfort I could get at this point. I finished everything off with a pair of basic black heels. It occurred to me that I might end up being taller than Jorge with them on, but I honestly didn't care.

I left the bedroom and headed for the kitchen to feed Jo before we left. Maura was sitting on the couch and didn't hear me at first. Once she saw Jo jump off the couch, she turned around and looked at me. I stopped moving when I saw that she was listening to my iPod. Fear overtook me.

_Did I hit stop or pause when I answered the door? _

I got my answer before I could barely think the question.

"This song is amazing." Maura said smiling.

"Oh? What song is that?" I tried to play it cool.

"The one you had paused. The one you were listening to right before you opened the door. 'Distance'…it's quite lovely. Her voice is enchanting."

I gulped and tried to look busy by feeding Jo.

" 'Arms' is quite beautiful also." She stated.

At that moment, I was leaning down pouring dog food into Jo Friday's bowl . I stopped mid-pour and looked at my arms. They were pretty much bare almost to my shoulders; the sleeves of my top were quite short. I stood up suddenly and my head swiveled around in shock.

"What did you just say?" I said, trying to sound calm.

"The song, 'Arms', also by Christina Perri. It's here on your iPod. It's a beautiful song." Maura smiled warmly.

I was quite sure that my face was blazing red. I didn't know how to respond.

"Oh, I um, I don't think I've heard that one yet. I just recently bought the album from iTunes and haven't listened to the whole thing yet." I turned around to wash my hands.

"Well, you really should, when you get a chance. Are you ready to go? Let me look at you."

She walked into the kitchen and studied me, turning me all the way around.

"Perfect! Let's go." Maura said, as she took a gentle hold of my arm steering me towards the door.

My face grew hotter and my skin felt like fire and ice where she had been touching my arm. I sighed and followed her out the door.


	6. Date night

When Maura and I arrived at the restaurant, I was immediately nervous. I tried to tell myself that I was just really excited. When we walked over to the table, the guys stood to greet us. Brock called the waiter over to get our drink orders. Maura asked for wine and I agreed. We all engaged in small talk for awhile. Jorge asked about my job and I told him a funny and somewhat embarrassing story that happened in my younger days. Korsak was chasing a guy and went to grab for him, and he ended up pulling off the guy's shorts. I came running up to tackle the guy…only to find out there were no underwear under those shorts.

"…. and so that was my first week on the job, I got to tackle a naked guy." I concluded.

Everyone laughed and Jorge gave me a bright smile. I glanced at Maura and saw Brock leaning in close, kissing her cheek. I felt my eyes flash.

_God, I REALLY hate that guy! _

The conversations bounced around all through dinner, each of a us sharing stories.

"Does anyone what any dessert or coffee?" Jorge offered.

"It's getting kind of late, I think maybe I will just call it a night." I replied.

"I need to use the ladies room…please excuse me, Jane, join me?" Maura said suddenly.

"I'm good thanks."

"I really think you should come with me." Maura said pointedly, as she leaned in close to my ear.

I instantly felt a shiver run through my body, as her breath brushed my cheek. I couldn't avoid going with her now. I followed her in the direction of the bathroom and when we were no longer in view of the guys, she stopped short. I almost ran into her.

"Jane, what are you doing? Jorge likes you, why don't you want to stay for a bit longer?" She asked, putting me on the spot.

"I'm just really tired, Maura. Yoga really wore me out today." I tried.

"We were ALL in the same class today, so you shouldn't be more worn out than the rest of us." Maura countered. She put a hand on her hip, as if to drive her point home.

"Umm, well, I did a workout when I got home too, so yeah…that's why I'm so tired."

Maura studied my face for longer than I felt was necessary. I was afraid of what she might find if she looked for too long. Out of options, I gave in.

"Ok, I'll stay awhile longer." I said, defeated.

"Good girl, thank you." Maura beamed.

When we got back to the table, Brock stood, allowing Maura to return to her seat to his right. I noticed his hand on the small of her back and how he leaned in for a quick kiss. Anger and betrayal shot through me like a drug. Maura looked so happy and content and it made me feel ill for some reason.

_Man, you really are an asshole. You can't even be happy for your best friend… she's got a good-looking guy that likes her and you can't even keep yourself in check. Damn it, Rizzoli, knock it off!_

I decided to try shaking off my funk, so I turned my body towards Jorge.

"So Jorge, what do you do for a living? Maura says you're in medicine? That must be exciting." I said in my girliest voice. I batted my eyes at him for added effect.

"Oh, well, yes…I'm a nurse." he replied with renewed enthusiasm at my sudden interest in him.

I tried like hell not to let my face reflect what I was thinking.

"A nurse, huh? Well, that must be very…rewarding." I said in the most judgment-free tone I could muster.

It's not that I thought being a nurse was a bad thing, it was just a little bit of a shock.

_Well, maybe that means he is a very caring and sensitive man… you could do a whole lot worse for yourself._

I decided to try accepting it and hoped my face didn't give me away.

We all talked for a bit longer while the guys were waiting for the checks.

As we were leaving the table, Jorge asked, "Can I offer you a ride home, Jane?" He looked at me with big, hopeful eyes.

"Well, I rode with Maura but thank you anyway."

"I have an idea: Jane, why don't you ride with Jorge and Maura can take me?" Brock interjected.

I shot him a look of death.

_Seriously, this guy needs to go away already. I wanna punch him in the throat!_

"I think that's a great idea, Brock! What do you think, Jane?" Maura piped in.

My eyes shot to hers like a bolt of lightning.

_What the hell? OF COURSE! She wants to take Brock home! How could I be so stupid…of course she does…he's a hot guy who is obviously attracted to her and it seems like she's pretty into it. God, and here you are thinking you freaking LOVE her! She likes dudes and you are NOT a dude. _

I swivel my head around towards Jorge and put a hand on his arm.

"I think that sounds great." I smile at him and shoot Maura a look.

"Great, then it's all settled." Maura exclaimed.

I internally groaned and felt my heart deflate.

* * *

I unlocked the door to my apartment and Jorge followed closely behind. He turned into a puddle of mush when he saw Jo Friday. She wasn't sure what to do with all the gushing, so she just licked his face.

"Ooh, let's take her for a walk!" Jorge said, a little too eager.

"Uh,ok…if you don't mind." I shrugged.

Back outside, we wandered up the block. Jorge had Jo's leash in his left hand and reached over to grab my hand in his right. I tensed up immediately and glanced at his face. He frowned slightly and I felt bad. I tried to relax a little and gave him an encouraging smile. This seemed to perk him up.

_This doesn't feel right._

_Why not?_

_I don't know…it just doesn't. Maybe it's cuz I just met the guy earlier today. Maybe it's cuz he's a nurse. I don't know._

Jorge had picked up his pace a little and our arms swung a little between us as a result.

Back in the apartment, I offered him coffee.

"I'm sorry, I only have instant." I said, apologetically.

"I'm fine, thanks."

"Ok, how about a beer?" I tried.

"Oh, none for me, thanks…I never touch the stuff. I'm much more of a wine guy."

_What kind of guy doesn't like beer? _

"Well, I'm sorry but I don't have any wine right now. Maura usually brings some over but we finished the last of it off days ago."

The thought of Maura, suddenly stabbed at my heart. I frowned.

Cracking open a beer for myself, I sat down on the couch next to Jorge. He slid a coaster under the bottle before I could set it down on the coffee table.

_Who is this guy, Martha-freaking-Stewart?_

I couldn't help rolling my eyes.

"We're not that fancy around here." I said to him, instantly feeling a little bad.

"Oh, sorry…I just saw your coasters there and thought I would help."

"Yeah, Maura got those in an attempt to civilize me, I suppose." I shrugged.

"I like that you're a little wild…untamed. It's sexy." He scooted a little closer to me.

"OH! Umm, well, thank you..?" I stammered.

"Jane, I … I really like you. You're sexy, smart, funny, and really strong…I love that in a woman." He put his arm up on the back of the couch and his hand found my hair.

Brushing my curls back, he reached behind my neck, pulled me towards him and kissed me.

I felt nothing. No, that was wrong…I felt SOMETHING, just not what I SHOULD have felt. I mostly wanted to throw up. It's not that he was a bad kisser or really had anything truly wrong with him…I just felt…wrong.

_This is just not right…I can't do this. _

_What is wrong with you? This gorgeous man is kissing you and you what, want to throw up? _

I pulled back from the kiss.

"Jorge, I think you're a great guy and I had a really nice time tonight, but I just don't think this is going to work out between us." I said softly.

I searched his face for recognition. He looked so sad.

Before he spoke he sighed, "You don't think we could just go out again and see what happens? I don't need to go fast…we can go as slow as you want." He pleaded.

I covered his hand that was resting on his knee.

"I'm so sorry… I just, I think I have feelings for someone else and it just wouldn't be fair to you." I winced on his behalf.

"Oh" He said in a small voice. "Well, I guess I can understand that. He's a lucky guy, I hope he knows that."

"You are a very sweet man, and I wish you nothing but the best."

Jorge stood to leave, "Thanks Jane for being so kind and honest."

I gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"You're going to make some girl very lucky… don't give up, ok?"

He smiled, "I won't. Goodnight, Jane."

I shut the door behind him and slid down the length of it to the floor.

_Whew! What a night! _

_Did I really mean what I said to him… that I have feelings for someone else or was that just a cop-out…a way to let him down easy?_

_**-**_sigh-

I hopped to my feet, remembering the song that Maura mentioned. I plugged my iPod into my stereo, found the song I wanted and hit play. I settled myself on the couch with the remote. I removed my heels and tucked my legs up under me. Jo joined me and curled up with her back against me.

"I never thought that you would be the one to hold my heart

But you came around and you knocked me off the ground from the start

You put your arms around me

And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go

You put your arms around me and I'm home

How many times will you let me change my mind and turn around

I can't decide if I'll let you save my life or if I'll drown

I hope that you see right through my walls

I hope that you catch me, 'cause I'm already falling

I'll never let a love get so close

You put your arms around me and I'm home

The world is coming down on me and I can't find a reason to be loved

I never wanna leave you but I can't make you bleed if I'm alone

You put your arms around me

And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go

I hope that you see right through my walls

I hope that you catch me, 'cause I'm already falling

I'll never let a love get so close

You put your arms around me and I'm home

I tried my best to never let you in to see the truth

And I've never opened up

I've never truly loved 'Til you put your arms around me

And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go

I hope that you see right through my walls

I hope that you catch me, 'cause I'm already falling

I'll never let a love get so close

You put your arms around me and I'm home

You put your arms around me and I'm home"

By the end of the song, I was hugging my legs to my chest and tears were streaming down my face. It WAS a beautiful song, just like Maura had said.

_That's all she meant by it, you know. Don't go reading into things. She is at home right now with Brock and she meant nothing more by what she said about the song. It is beautiful, end of story. _

_You have really gotten yourself into it this time. Lovesick over your best friend. She is caring and sweet and you take advantage of that by lusting after her? Freakin' creep. _

_You better figure out how do deal with this cuz she has a man in her bed right now._

I stopped in the middle of that thought. I didn't really want to believe that there was a man in her bed. I thought back to the night before and all that happened.

_Was that really only last night? Seems like weeks ago._

_For your own sanity and pride, you better get this under control or you will be a very miserable woman._

I wiped my face. I knew I couldn't listen to that song again, so I hit the power button on the remote.

"Come on, Jo…bed time." I said, as I padded off towards the bedroom.

The events of the last few days played back in my mind, in no particular order. Just random moments. The last thought I had before falling asleep was being curled up against Maura on the couch, her arm securely around me. I smiled in the dark and sighed one last time before drifting off.


	7. Tensions run high

I'm not sure what woke me up or which was louder: my phone ringing or my stomach growling. Either way, I hauled myself out of bed. Well, it was more like I swung my feet to the floor and sat there with one eye open, trying to wake up. Jo offered her help by licking my toe. I reached for my phone.

Two missed calls and three texts.

_How did I sleep through all of that? Normally, I wake up the second my phone goes off. I clearly have not been myself lately. _

Thoughts of Maura reminded me all too well just how "off" I've been.

One call from Ma.

_Crap, I forgot to call her after yoga yesterday, she's probably freaking out._

One call from Maura.

My head and stomach fought for the spotlight on what my reaction should be. My head was pissed off, hurt, and sad. My stomach, besides yelling at me for being hungry as hell, said that it was extremely excited to see her name on my phone. I frowned at my internal argument.

One text from Frankie, wanting to know if I wanted to go for a run.

Two texts from Maura.

"Good morning. I was thinking of going shopping, would you care to join me?"

"Jane? Can you let me know that you're ok…please.? I called and text you earlier. I'm starting to get worried. If I don't hear from you soon, I'm coming over there to check on you."

That was 3 minutes ago.

_Do I want her to come over? Should I not answer so she does? _

I suddenly had a vision of Brock kissing Maura. I felt a surge of anger and disappointment. I scowled and decided to text her back.

"Hey, I'm fine. Was sleeping."

Almost immediately she responded back,. " Oh, thank goodness! I hadn't heard from you since you and Jorge left the restaurant last night. I was worried that something happened. Oooh my, did he stay over?"

I rolled my eyes and didn't fail to notice the unsettling feeling I had in the pit of my stomach at the mention of Jorge's name.

_Poor guy, at least he took it well. _

I didn't know what to say to Maura. I mostly wanted to fill my stomach and fall back in bed.

Before I could think of a response, Maura text me again.

"When I didn't hear from you this morning, I went shopping anyway. I'm sure you're not TOO upset about missing out on that."

_What the hell time is it that she's already been shopping? _

11:13 AM.

"Yeah, that didn't hurt my feelings one bit." I finally said back to her.

_No, instead you hurt my feelings by kissing "hair-boy" and worse, taking him home. _

I sulked my way into the kitchen. Jo sat by the front door trying to be patient.

"Ok Jo, we will go potty in a minute. I can't believe you held it this long and didn't wake me up."

I grabbed her leash and we headed out to take care of business.

I was beyond grumpy. I was starving but didn't feel like making any food.

_You better eat or you're really gonna feel like shit._

I poked my head in the refrigerator, the options not very vast. I have a bachelors fridge: Beer, condiments, half a loaf of bread, eggs, and a handful of random other things. I decided that scrambled eggs would be relatively painless to make.

I eyed my phone. I didn't want to look at; didn't want to see what more Maura may have said. At the same time, I was afraid that she didn't respond at all and that freaked me out more. I looked at the screen, swearing at myself for giving in to the temptation.

"Are you sure you're ok, Jane? Your texts are very short and tense sounding. Did everything go ok with Jorge? I can come over and we can talk if you'd like." Maura suggested.

"I'm fine, it went ok with Jorge. I just have a stomachache. I think maybe I will just hang out on the couch today."

I was trying not to be a complete asshole but I was still pretty hurt and didn't want to make it too easy on her.

The whole thing didn't really make much sense.. Maura has always had a pretty healthy dating life and it never bothered me before. Now I am holed up in my apartment, sulking and feeling sorry for myself like a 14 year old who didn't get asked to the dance. I was starting to really annoy myself.

_Damn Rizzoli, figure your shit out._

As soon as I sat down to eat my eggs, my phone rang.

_Oh no! Maura, just leave it alone, please… I don't want to talk!_

When I looked at my phone, I saw that it was the station.

"Rizzoli…" I answered.

I listened carefully to the situation.

"I will be right there."

_Ok, duty calls. Maybe this will help get my mind off of things._

* * *

I arrive at the crime scene to find that Maura is already there. She didn't see me yet so I turned my attention to Frost and Frankie. They filled me in on the details of the case. Apparently, it was a hit and run and they had no leads. I kept sneaking glances in Maura's direction, not really wanting her to see me.

She was bent over the body and collecting the usual preliminary data. As hurt as I was, I couldn't take my eyes off of her. The way her golden hair cascaded down her shoulders and back. The way her clothes always seemed to fit her so perfectly.

"Jane?"

"Mmm? Oh, what?" I was startled out of my daydream by Frost.

"I was asking if you remembered that hit and run case we had a few months back and if you thought it sounded similar."

"I will have to pull the file and look it over. If I recall, we didn't have much to go on in that case either." I said, recovering before Frost noticed my wandering mind and well, eyes.

I chanced another look at Maura just as she was standing up; I looked away quickly.

"Frost, if you have this handled, I think I will head to the station to check out that file."

"Ok, Jane. There's really not a whole lot to do here so, yeah, I can handle it. See ya in a bit."

Not risking another look at Maura, I turned and hurried back to the car.

_Ok, you can do this. You got through that whole thing without having to talk to her. You have a case now, so you can focus on that. Piece of cake, you got this._

Feeling better after my internal pep-talk, I flipped on the radio and drove towards the precinct.

The first song I came to was "Drops of Jupiter" by Train. I've always liked that song and then it started reminding me of Maura. I changed the channel.

"Smile" by Uncle Kracker. It had a nice light beat to it and then I heard the words and changed the channel again.

_For crying out loud...can't find a damn song that doesn't make me think of her. Ridiculous._

I found another peppy song and decided to keep it on no matter what.

"I don't know but I think I maybe Fallin' for you

Dropping so quickly. Maybe I should keep this to myself

Waiting 'til I Know you better

I am trying not to tell you but I want to

I'm scared of what you'll say so I'm hiding what I'm feeling

But I'm tired of holding this inside my head

I've been spending all my time just thinking about ya

I don't know what to do, I think I'm fallin' for you

I've been waiting all my life and now I found ya

I don't know what to do, I think I'm fallin' for you

I'm fallin' for you

As I'm standing here and you hold my hand

Pull me towards you and we start to dance

All around us I see nobody

Here in silence, it's just you and me

I'm trying not to tell you, but I want to

I'm scared of what you'll say so I'm hiding what I'm feeling

But I'm tired of holding this inside my head

I've been spending all my time just thinking about ya

I don't know what to do, I think I'm fallin' for you

I've been waiting all my life and now I found ya

I don't know what to do, I think I'm fallin' for you

I'm fallin' for you

Oh I just can't take it my heart is racing

The emotions keep spinning out

I've been spending all my time just thinking about ya

I don't know what to do, I think I'm fallin' for you

I've been waiting all my life and now I found ya

I don't know what to do, I think I'm fallin' for you

I'm fallin' for you

I can't stop thinking about it

I want you all around me

And now I just can't hide it

I think I'm fallin' for you

I'm fallin' for you

Oh I'm fallin' for you"

_Really? So EVERY song I hear now is gonna remind me of her? Well, I am officially screwed. I am so twisted over her and where does that get me? What an impossible situation to get yourself into. How do you think this is going to end? Sunsets and happiness? Not likely. She went home with Brock last night, dummy._

_Yeah well, you took Jorge home but you see how that turned out._

_Yes, but I put a stop to things because it didn't FEEL right._

_Exactly, because you love Maura. You are ATTRACTED to her. That's why it wasn't right with Jorge._

_But that doesn't mean that she feels like that about me. There's no way she does. I am a lost cause and I will just have to figure out how to be friends with her and not let my feelings interfere._

I sighed and pulled my car up to the curb at the station. I sat there a minute, drumming my fingers on the steering wheel, still lost in thought.

_This is going to suck. I have never felt like this about anyone. My best friend, my co-worker, and my love interest all rolled into one. Gee, nothing bad at all can come from this. Shit._

Reluctantly, I hauled my depressed self from the car and made my way inside. Everyone was friendly as usual but that didn't really help improve my mood. I could almost feel the dark cloud pushing down on me as I made my way to my desk.

"Afternoon, Jane." Korsak said from his desk.

"Hi." Was all I could muster.

He gave me a concerned look but I waved him off before he could ask what was wrong. He took the gesture in stride and complied to my request by leaving me alone. Grateful that my former partner knew and understood me so well, I went to find the file on the previous hit and run case.

* * *

I didn't realize how much time had passed while I was pouring over the report. My phone had buzzed a couple times and I had ignored it. Stretching at my desk, I decided I better look to see who had tried contacting me.

Two texts, both from Maura.

_Shit, doesn't she have work to do!?_

I wasn't really mad at her of course, I was mad at myself. After all, it certainly wasn't her fault that I seemed to be in love with her all of a sudden. It wasn't her issue, it was mine. And the only way I knew how to deal with it, at least for now, was to ignore it.

I looked at the first message.

"Hey, missed you at the crime scene. Frankie said you were there but I never saw you. I guess you were in a hurry?"

I frowned at the thought of me not being there when she was looking for me. I hated that I was acting so uncharacteristically. Normally, I would have been right there by her side the whole time at the crime scene.

_But no, this time you took off like a scared rabbit. _

Second message:

"I will let you know when I am done with the autopsy and my examination of your hit and run victim."

_Crap, she's sounding all short and professional like. She KNOWS something's up. You're being a jerk to her for no good reason. _

I gave myself a mental kick in the pants and stood up.

"Hey guys, I'm gonna run down to the morgue and see how the exam is coming on our vic. Need anything on my way back up?" I asked Frost and Korsak.

They both said they were fine. I walked to the elevators, trying to come up with something to say to Maura that would explain my behavior. I made it to her office and still hadn't come up with anything sufficient. I found her at her desk, briskly typing on her laptop.

I knocked lightly on the wall near the door.

"Hi"

"Oh, Jane, hello. I was just making notes here on my findings. I could have text you the results, you didn't need to come all the way down here." Maura said blankly.

_Oh man, she is all business. This is not good._

"Oh it's fine, really. I needed to stretch my legs anyway, I've been studying a case from another hit and run we had a few months ago. So, how's it going, find anything good?"

She glanced up at me for a second, squinted slightly, and resumed typing.

"Nothing conclusive. We are running tests. So far, it doesn't appear to be an intentional homicide. It may be a drunk driving incident or something along those lines. But you know I don't like to draw conclusions so early on."

Her mouth was drawn in a tight line and I could see her jaw muscles clench occasionally.

_I have to do something! She doesn't deserve this treatment. She hasn't done anything wrong._

"If that is all of the questions you have, I really need to get this finished up." Maura said.

Shocked by her obvious attempt to expel me from her office, I could do nothing but shake my head.

"Uh, yeah, I guess that's it. Let me know as soon as you find something." I said, weakly.

"I always do." She snapped back.

_Ouch._

I turned to go when I heard her say something.

"Oh and Jane, take this with you." She said, sliding a small colorful gift bag across her desk towards me.

"What's this?" I asked hesitantly.

"It's nothing. I just saw it today when I was shopping and thought of you. It's no big deal, just take it. I will talk to you later." Maura abruptly stood and went through the door to her lab.

I stood there, dumbfounded.

_Oh, now you really are a massive jerk! You've been treating her like shit and she bought you a fucking present! Well done, detective…clearly one of your more brilliant screw-ups._

I picked up the bag and trudged my way back upstairs to my desk. I couldn't bear to look at what was in it so I gently put in my desk.

* * *

**A/N: The last song mentioned in this chapter is "Falling for you" by Colbie Caillat.**


	8. The gift

I managed to drive all the way home and get into the apartment without opening the bag to look inside at its contents. Now, I stared at it sitting on my kitchen counter.

I began to pace around the apartment. Without thinking, I hit play on my iPod and the last song I had been listening to started playing.

"Distance" by Christina Perri filled the room.

_Oh, why didn't I think of that before hitting play? _

Try as I might, I couldn't make myself change the song. I gained the strength to look at my gift. Inside the bag was a box, a little bigger than my fist.

_She bought me a fragrance! No one has ever done that before. No one would dream of doing that, they all know how picky I am when it comes to personal things like this. And why? It's not my birthday. There aren't any holidays coming up. _

"I just saw it today when I was shopping and thought of you." I recalled her saying.

Wo_w, she just saw it and bought it for me. How great is that? How thoughtful. Oh, I am the worst person on Earth!_

I read the box as I was opening it, "Pour Homme Soir" by BVLGARI

_Hmm, never heard of it. Not that I am that familiar with things like this._

I took the top off the bottle and smelled it. Light, almost powdery, but with a fresh scent. I sprayed some on my neck and wrist, rubbing it together with my other wrist.

_This smells really good. I can't believe she did this for me. I have to talk to her, I can't let this go on. _

I grabbed my keys and left the apartment.

_I'm going to make this right. I can't stand not talking to her. I swear there are days that she is the only reason I get out of bed._

* * *

I pulled into Maura's driveway and put the car in 'park'. I had no idea what I was going to say or do, I just knew I had to see her. The lights were on, so that was a good sign. I walked painfully slow to the front door, trying to stall so I could think of some extraordinary plan. I had nothing, I would just have to wing it. After knocking, I held my breath. It took what felt like a lifetime for her to answer.

Maura swung the door open slowly and stood halfway behind it. I noticed immediately that her eyes were red and possibly damp. My heart sank and then it felt like it rushed up again to fill my throat. I just wanted everything to be ok. We stood awkwardly at the door, both of us glancing at the ground and back up at each other. We didn't hold eye contact for very long.

"Maura, I…can I come in?… I really want to talk to you" I sputtered.

She looked as if she was having an internal dialog of her own, when she finally turned away from the door, saying nothing. I thought this was a good thing since she didn't slam the door in my face or tell me to get the hell out of her life for good.

She went to the sink, splashed water on her face and then blotted it dry.

"Maura, why have you been crying?"

_Oh, great opening line there, genius…way to make her feel worse by drawing attention to it! _

Her eyes met mine briefly before she answered.

"I've been crying because my best friend is shutting me out and ignoring me." She said, simply.

I died a little inside, knowing that I was causing her pain.

"Maur, I'm an asshole."

She blinked and waited for me to continue.

"I was kind of upset last night and that spilled over into today and I took it out on you. You don't deserve it and that's why I'm here now."

She said nothing and I took the cue to keep going.

_She's not going to make this easy._

_Yeah, well, she shouldn't, you ass._

"I don't even really know what to say, other than I am truly sorry for being such a jerk." I offered.

I slumped down onto a bar stool across from where she was standing. I could feel the tension coming off of her. We didn't speak for a few minutes.

"What made you so upset last night? I thought you had a good time." Maura finally said in a small voice.

"I did but he just wasn't right for me."

She didn't give me any room to slink out of this one, she was waiting for more.

"Jorge is a great guy. Dinner was nice and all that. We talked a bit at my apartment. He loved Jo and we took her for a walk. Later, he kissed me and it was nice and all but I didn't feel a connection. There was no spark. I let him down easy, he thanked me and said he understood and then he left."

"Jane, you shouldn't be upset. It was just one date, there are plenty more guys to go out with. You will meet someone, I promise. Don't give up." Maura said soothingly.

My head flew up to look at her.

_She thinks I'm upset because the date wasn't a love connection? Oh, Maura, if you only knew._

"What I don't understand, Jane, is why you have been so cold towards me today. Is it because I made you go out on the double-date?"

"What? Oh no, Maura, that's not it." I didn't know what kind of answer I could provide that would put her at ease.

"So… Brock huh? I bet you didn't get much sleep." I tried my best to sound all "wingman-like" as if the thought of that guy in this house didn't make me want to vomit.

Maura raised her eyebrows, "You don't like him very much do you?"

"I don't know what you mean, other than his enlightenment speeches, he's a great guy." I said.

I tried not to look at her directly, but I felt her glaring at me.

"Jane Rizzoli, you are almost as bad a liar as I am. Who exactly do you think you are fooling? Brock is a very nice guy and he has a lot to offer." Maura said, putting me in my place.

I felt my ears flush and stomach clench. I stood up to leave.

"Ok well, I'm sure you are expecting Mr. Wonderful anytime for another 'sleep-over', so I'm gonna take off." I said in a tight voice.

I almost made it to the door but she grabbed me by the arm and spun me around.

_Damn, she is so much stronger than she looks._

I barely had time to register the effect of her hand on my arm before she launched a verbal assault at me.

"What is your problem? I REALLY want to know, because it's clearly not what you make it out to be. And can I point out, that although it is none of your god damn business, Brock will not be coming over tonight or any other night for that matter! And furthermore, he didn't stay the night last night either." She shouted.

I stared at her. Her eyes were blazing, her face was flushed, and her chest was heaving.

_I swear, even though she is mad as hell at me right now, she is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. _

I must have zoned out for longer than I thought because she snapped her fingers to get my attention.

"What? Wait, so Brock didn't stay over?" I muttered.

She huffed and crossed her arms.

"No, he didn't even step foot in this house. I drove him home right after we left the restaurant. He asked me to come in to his place, but I declined and came home."

_He wasn't here. She didn't let him come to her house. Does that mean she didn't sleep with him? She said she didn't go into his place either. I guess they could have done it in the car, but I doubt Maura would do that. If she wanted to sleep with him, she would have. Oh wow._

This information made me happy in a way I couldn't seem to process.

"You really disliked him THAT much that the whole thing had you this upset?" Maura asked softly.

"Maur, I guess so. I just knew the guy bugged me and it upset me that you didn't see or feel it too."

It was a half-hearted explanation but really more of a total cop-out. I hoped it was enough to appease her.

I searched her eyes for some indication of what she was thinking. I got my answer when she threw her arms around my neck, hugging me tightly. Shocked by the sudden display of affection, it took me a moment to come to my senses. When I finally regained motor function, I returned her hug. I felt her face shift slightly towards my neck.

"Jane! You're wearing the fragrance I got you!" She exclaimed.

Before I could answer, she buried her nose into the side of my neck and then moved towards my throat, sniffing the whole time. Shockwaves were running up and down my body. My stomach was flipping all around. I don't know if I was breathing. Her left hand had moved to the back of my neck, holding me still as she searched for the scent on my throat. I could feel her hair on my jaw and chin. Her right hand, I realized was on my hip, also holding me still.

_Oh my god! I could die right now and be completely ok with it. Shit, this is intense. _

Thoughts and sensations were flooding through my body. Things I have never thought or felt before. I could smell her hair and it made my eyes roll back. My body was on fire, especially in the three spots where she was currently touching me.

_I can't take much more of this! If she doesn't stop touching me, I'm REALLY going to be touching her! _

This thought surprised me. Even though I recently acknowledged to myself that I was falling for her, I didn't consider the physical effect she was also having on me. It made sense, if I looked back on our encounters. I thought about the events that had happened in the last couple days. Waking up with her on the couch. The song, "Distance" popped back in my head.

"Please don't stand so close to me, I'm having trouble breathing." That was one line from the song that was particularly true at this exact moment.

Maura lifted her head to look up at me, just as I took a small step backward.

"Jane, that smells absolutely divine on you! I knew it would but had no idea how much!" Maura gushed.

Her face was somewhat pink and her eyes were dazzling as she looked into mine. Her left hand was now resting on my shoulder, but her right hand was still on my hip.

I had to say something to break this spell because I was now looking alternately between her eyes and her mouth.

"I forgot to thank you, by the way, for my gift. You shouldn't have, really. What was the occasion anyhow?" I managed.

This did the trick. Her hands slid off of me as she walked a couple steps away.

"Oh, you're quite welcome. And does there have to be an occasion? I told you I was out of perfume, so I went shopping. I couldn't really find anything for myself but I thought of you the second I smelled this one. I had to get it for you." She said.

Maura looked at me with complete innocence and a type of sincerity that only she could wear. It made my heart swell. I had never met someone so pure. She was so intelligent and worldly in some aspects and so completely full of wonder at the same time. She was fresh like the smell of snow before it falls. Her eyes sucked me in and held me there with the warmest possible feeling. If I had any doubt before, I knew, in that moment, that I was completely in love with this woman. I felt or heard myself gasp. Maura tilted her head in that way that she did when she was amused or puzzled by something.

_What now? How do I deal with this? How do I act normal around her… how do I not let this effect our friendship?_

She held me in place with her gaze. I felt an electric pull towards her. I wanted to step forward. I wanted…

_Oh my god…I want to kiss her. I want that more than anything I have ever desired._

She stepped towards me. I inhaled sharply, still unable to move. I felt like I was outside of my body again, like the morning I woke up with her on the couch. She held her hand out to me. I stared at it and watched my own hand come up to meet it. There was an actual bolt of energy that ran from my fingertips, up my arm, to my scalp. I shivered. I felt like I was underwater…it seemed like all time stopped, all sound faded away. I was being led to one of the barstools. Maura released my hand, much to my disappointment. I watched her numbly, she appeared to be making tea.

"Jane, I really don't know what has gotten into you. You have been acting very strange lately." I heard Maura say.

_You. You have gotten into me…into my head, my heart. Damn, this is not going to be pretty. Things will never be the same again._

* * *

**A/N: I hope I made up for making the girls go out with the yoga guys. This chapter felt a little short. I was going to continue it but I'm not sure where I want to go with it, so here seemed like a good stopping point. Thanks to everyone for reading and giving me your feedback. I love writing this story and I'm glad it seems like everyone is enjoying it. :)**


	9. Tea time

Maura finished making our tea and handed me my cup.

"Let's sit." She said, walking over to the couch.

I hesitated before standing.

_Oh, come on, you big chicken…it's just the couch. No big deal._

_Yeah, except all I'm going to be thinking about is how I kissed Maura's neck on that very couch!_

Feeling self-conscious and silly, I went to sit by Maura.

_It's so funny that we always sit in the same spots, no matter who sits first. Me on the right and her on the left. _

Maura used the remote to turn on her stereo. I settled into the cushions and took a sip of my tea.

"Honey?" Maura said.

"What!?" I said, almost spitting out my tea.

"Would you like some honey for your tea? I think I would like some."

I couldn't be sure but she looked like she was hiding a faint smirk or maybe laughter. She was standing in front of me, waiting for my cup. I handed it over. I wasn't sure I wanted honey but I couldn't deal with her standing over me like that. A woman's voice came through the speakers, she sounded familiar but I was too distracted to figure it out. Maura returned with my tea. She held the cup until she was sure I had a grip on it, which forced me to cover half of her fingers as I took it from her. More shivers.

_I have to find a way not to freak out every time we touch! She's going to start wondering what's up if I get goose bumps and chills every time we are near each other._

Instead of sitting with her feet on the floor, this time Maura swung her legs up on the couch. She had her back against the throw pillow and was now facing my end of the couch. I swallowed hard.

"Do you mind?" She asked as she slid her feet so they were almost under my left thigh. "My feet are a little cold." She smiled sweetly.

"Umm, I can get you a blanket." I said, as I started to stand.

She grabbed my arm and gently pulled me back into a sitting position.

"No, you don't have to… I'll be fine if I can just put my feet by you. But if you mind then…" Maura trailed off.

"No, I'm…it's cool, no problem." I finally said.

She gave me a big smile.

"The honey was a nice touch." I said casually.

This seemed to catch her off guard for some reason.

"Excuse me? I didn't really hear you." Her eyes were big.

"Oh, I just said that the honey really helped the tea. Good idea." I answered, somewhat puzzled.

"Yes, it was just what it needed."

Maura stared off across the room for a second. She re-settled on the couch a bit, resulting in her toes sliding under my leg. I tensed at the sudden contact. I didn't dare look in her direction.

The first song was ending and I started to say something to break the silence when the next song stopped me cold. I was glad I couldn't see my own face because I'm sure I would have been even more flustered, as if that were possible. It didn't matter if I could see my face, because I knew Maura could and that made me nervous as hell.

I only had to hear the first few notes to know which song it was.

_Holy shit, did she buy the cd? Oh my god, why is she playing this right now. I'm not gonna make it out of this without her thinking I have lost it._

I was hot, very hot. My leg blazed where her toes were touching me. My face and neck had to be on fire, literally on fire, for how hot I felt. A million things ran through my mind: Ways to cool myself off without being obvious, reasons to get up and maybe stick my head in the freezer. Anything! All I could do was clear my throat. She had me once again, frozen in place.

_It's fine…YOU'RE fine. No need to freak out and run out of the house. Just be still and calm. Breathe and focus on your tea._

"This is the song I was telling you about, 'Arms' by Christina Perri." She said.

"Oh yeah, I remember you telling me about that now. Sure, I can recognize her voice." I choked out, sounding way more calm than I was.

"You didn't listen to it yet?" She said, sounding disappointed.

"Uhh, no I haven't had a chance…sorry. It sounds nice so far though." I replied.

_Oh, please don't let her pick up on my lie. I can't handle it if she starts asking questions._

"Mmmm, yes, it is quite lovely. It's very dynamic the way it builds." She said as she tucked her feet further beneath my leg.

I turned my head as nonchalantly as possible to look at her. She was blowing into her cup to cool off her tea and didn't seem to notice me looking in her direction. I kept my eyes on her a little too long and she caught my gaze in hers.

_Those eyes are going to be the death of me. Why does it seem like she can see my every thought? _

_Oh, I hope THAT'S not the case or it will only take one look for her to know all my secrets. Well, I only have the one secret but it's kind of a doozy._

"Jane?"

_Oh god._

"Yes?"

_PLEASE, please do not ask me something that I can not answer without lying. I can't stand lying to you…but I can't tell you the truth if you ask me anything about…us._

The song had to chime in right at that moment, much to my discomfort.

"… I hope that you see right through my walls. I hope that you catch me, cause I'm already falling…"

_Crap._

"Have you had anymore nightmares?" Maura asked tentatively.

I never would have imagined that talking about my nightmares would be my preferred topic but I was beyond relieved when that was the question.

"I haven't actually."

I was surprised that it had been a few nights ago when I had that horrible bout of nightmares revolving around Hoyt. Just thinking his name made me sick to my stomach.

_Maybe this discussion should be avoided also._

"We have never really talked about what happened, Jane." Maura tried.

"I know. I don't know if I can."

"I was there too…well, at least the last time."

When I didn't say anything, she kept going.

"I was so scared." Maura said, simply.

I leaned forward to set my cup on the table and sighed.

"Maura… I know you went through it too and we should be able to talk it out but I don't know that I can. At least not now."

She slid her feet out from under my leg, set her cup down, and scooted closer to me.

_Shit. This is not helping. Face it, Rizzoli, either way you look at it…you're not getting out of a tough conversation. Which would you rather talk about… the man that terrorized you or your apparently deep, deep love for a certain Medical Examiner?_

_Double shit!_

_Here we go._

I turned to my left, so that we were now facing each other, more or less.

"I'm sorry, I have been insensitive. You went through a very traumatizing experience too. I should have been more attentive to that. Tell me what you're feeling." I said sincerely.

She looked shocked. I'm sure she wasn't expecting me to give in so easily.

_Lesser of two evils, that's all. Trust me, Maura… you would rather have this conversation over the other choice. _

"Jane, I have never been so scared in all my life."

She paused and seemed to be thinking through what she would say next. Before speaking again, she slid her hands under mine and gripped them tightly. I couldn't control the flood of emotion and seemingly endless amounts of energy that was coursing through me. I inhaled quite loudly and tried to pull my hands away. She wouldn't let me go.

"I don't know if you understand me completely…when I saw Hoyt grab you in that hospital room, I thought that was the last time I would ever see you. One minute he was laying there on his death bed and the next, he had you by the throat. He knew this was his last chance and he wasn't going to let it slip away from him. You should have died that day, we both should have. I wanted to help you, HAD to help you. " Maura choked back a sob.

I started to speak but she just shook her head and I knew to let her continue.

"I have tried really hard to be strong for you, Jane…I know how much damage he caused you mentally. I didn't want to talk about it because I wanted to give you time to work it out for yourself. But then you told me about your nightmare and it all came rushing back. I couldn't do anything to stop him. That guard hit me with the Taser and I was utterly useless. The worst part was I could hear everything and caught flashes of movement but that was it! I almost lost you and there was absolutely nothing I could do about it!"

By this time, tears were streaming down her face. I wanted to brush them away but i didn't dare touch her. I wasn't sure what to say, no surprise there. But Maura wasn't finished, so I just squeezed her hands and encouraged her to continue.

"I don't know how you were able to do what you did. You took out the guard AND you managed to stop Hoyt. Words can not express how much I wish I could've been of some use. I can't get the image of Hoyt having a hold of you or the sounds of your struggle out of my head. Not knowing what was happening or who had the upper hand. The moment I heard you say, 'I win. You're going to hell alone.' I felt such a rush of relief. I was so completely HAPPY when I heard you drive the scalpel into his chest. How awful of a person do you have to be for someone to be happy that your wicked murderous self is dead? I have come to terms with my elation at that moment. Sometimes, bad things happen to good people and sometimes, bad things happen to the RIGHT people; the ones who inflicted the bad on the good. The thing I still can't get past, is you. I mean, obviously, you are here and alive but I guess I am still mourning the possibility of losing you and never again having you in my life. I just couldn't handle that… I can't lose you, do you understand?" Maura looked at me pleadingly.

_Tell her how you feel! She is opening up to you… you need to do the same. Tell her that you have these, "feelings"… that something has changed. _

_This is hardly the time for that. She is talking about Hoyt here and her feelings about what we went through._

"Maura, the only reason I was able to do all of that was because of you…"

In the middle of my sentence, I heard what song was playing… #4 on the cd, none other than "Distance."

That made this conversation that much more real. That song now reminded me of my emotional outburst at the end of our movie night regarding Hoyt, which ultimately led to the couch sleepover, which in turn led to the events of me falling for my best friend. I shook away my thought because Maura was eagerly awaiting the rest of what I might say.

"I found the strength and courage inside me to do what I did because I couldn't fathom living a life without you in it. The image of those animals with their hands on you enraged me in a way I have never felt before and there was NO WAY I was going to let them hurt you anymore than they already had. I would've died before I was going to let that happen. I assumed I was going to die and I didn't care as long as I took him down with me."

"You were willing to die for me? Give up your life to save mine?" I could see the tears welling up in Maura's eyes again.

"That's my job, of course." I said quickly.

She narrowed her eyes at me.

"That was more than you just doing your JOB, Detective. Saying that you went above and beyond the call of duty would be a gross understatement." She countered.

"Maura, I would do it all over again everyday if that's what it took to keep you alive." I blushed at my candor. "You're my best friend. I have never felt closer to someone in my entire life."

She had tears running rivers down her cheeks but had the biggest and brightest smile glued to her face. She brought her arms up and pulled me into a hug, planting a firm kiss on my face. We were both crying by this time. I wrapped her up tight to return her embrace and buried my face in the crook of her neck. Her hands were stroking my hair and down onto my back.

_Can we just sit like this for, I don't know, the rest of our lives? There's nothing in the world that could be more important than this, right? _

I heard myself sigh in contentment. I tightened my grip on her and not so accidentally nuzzled her neck just a bit more. One of my hands found its way into her hair and was combing through its length.

My eyes shot open.

_Uh, what the fuck are you thinking!? Can you not control yourself at all? Are you some kind of animal? Why is it that you keep taking advantage of these emotional moments to get your kicks?_

_Get your ass home, Rizzoli. NOW, before you do something even more stupid and you lose the one person you almost died trying to save!_

I pulled back from Maura, careful not to make it seem like a big deal. I made a point of looking her in the eye and smiling. I fully intended to stand up, say goodnight, and go home. Seeing the tears all over her face made my heart melt. I gave into the will of my hands and placed them on either side of her face. Using my thumbs, I wiped away what I could. I was starting to get lost in her eyes again, my thumbs repeatedly stroking her cheeks.

_This is not really any different… you need to stand up and leave this house._

Sighing again, I pulled her head towards me and kissed her forehead. I held the kiss for longer than I should have but I didn't want to break the connection. Her hands circled around my forearms.

_Oh, that warmth. Do I have to leave? Can't I just stay?_

I slowly stood up, which caused her hands to slide to my wrists and then into my hands. I pulled her up into another hug. We stood like that for almost a full minute.

"I have to go, Maur." I said, breaking the embrace.

"What? Why? It's late, why don't you just stay here? You know there's plenty of room" She said, confused.

_Yes, except, it wouldn't matter how much room you have, I would want to be right next to you. We can't let that happen._

"I have to get home to take care of Jo Friday. She still needs to eat dinner and she hasn't been out to potty for a while now." I reasoned.

Maura frowned.

"Too bad you didn't think to bring her, now you have to go all the way home. You could've been asleep in just a few minutes. Are you sure you're not too tired to drive?"

"I'm fine. Besides, it's not that far away…I will be ok." I answered.

"Hey, are you ok? Do you feel any better after our talk? I don't know that I was that helpful." I added.

Maura smiled brightly, "I feel a million times better, thank you. Just talking it out helped. I appreciate you being so open and honest."

"Ok then, goodnight. Sweet dreams, Maura." I said turning towards the door.

I chanced a look back at her. There were a mixture of emotions flashing across her face. I was stalling because I didn't want to leave.

"Goodnight, Jane. Pleasant dreams, as well. Oh, and will you please text me so I know that you got home safe?"

_This is new. We text each other our whereabouts pretty often but she has never requested this before. She must just be freaked out after talking about Hoyt._

"You got it. Talk to you soon." I replied, and just for added effect, I followed it up with a wink as I went to leave.

I caught a glimpse of the huge grin that spread on Maura's face just as I was shutting the door.

* * *

**A/N: So I changed the rating from T to M because I didn't feel that the 'f' word was necessarily appropriate for everyone. I don't know how much I will utilize the rating but I figured better safe than sorry. I hope you guys are still enjoying it. :) Thanks for your all of your "Favorites, follows, and reviews".**


	10. Another one bites the dust

**A/N: I have been dying to update but have been very busy at work. :( Damn life getting in the way! I will try to update again soon. I hope this will hold you over for a bit.**

* * *

I caught myself smiling as I drove home. I kept picturing Maura's expression after I winked at her. I was mentally kicking myself for not bringing Jo. It would have been so much more convenient to just stay at her place. The thought had never occurred to me considering that earlier, things had been weird between us. I didn't even expect for the evening to go as well as it did.

_I'm sooo glad she didn't try to ask me about my recent craziness._

I need for her to be completely opposite of how she normally is. She needs to be unobservant, oblivious, and selfish. That is the only hope I have of hiding these feelings I have for her. Since there is zero chance of that happening, I am screwed.

_Maybe you can find some way to distract her. _

_Like what? Find her a GUY? And that would make you feel better? _

_Please, you will go freaking nuts if anyone goes near her, don't fool yourself, tough girl. _

Even though I didn't want to talk about Hoyt or my nightmare, I felt much better after talking about it with Maura. I should have been more considerate of her feelings about the incident with Hoyt. I had been so wrapped up in it being the end of him, that I never thought of how it all effected her.

_Recent events have shown that you are in fact, a self-absorbed jackass. _

_She's so much stronger than me. She held all of this in for my sake, even though she was scared and hurting._

I vowed to myself at that moment to never put my feelings before her's again. More than ever, I knew how important it was to keep my feelings to myself. It would be selfish to profess my undying love for her.

What good could come of it?

_I could just see it now… "Maura, I'm hopelessly in love with you, I hope you don't mind that I'm a woman. That's not a big deal, right? Now, let's move in together and buy matching SAAB's."_

_Yeap, that would work out just fine._

I rolled my eyes at myself.

Jo greeted me with a happy tail and a little dance.

"Hey little girl. Ready for a walk?"

I pulled out my phone to send Maura the text she had requested.

"I'm home, safe and sound. Going to walk Jo. Goodnight."

With surprising strength from such a little dog, Jo Friday pulled me down the sidewalk, anxious to do her business.

My phone buzzed.

"You could already be asleep if you were still here. ;) Next time, think ahead, Detective." Maura replied teasingly.

"Are you giving me shit, Doctor? Shouldn't YOU be asleep?"

"I couldn't go to sleep without getting your 'I'm home' text, now could I? And yes, I am giving you shit…because I can."

I smirked.

_Oh, I think I like this feisty Maura. I wonder how I can get her to show this side more often. Let's see how far I can take this._

"Aren't you the feisty one tonight. What makes you so confident in your shit-giving abilities?"

_HA, take that!_

"I'm confident because I think you would let me do anything I want to you…including giving you a hard time." Maura responded, a little too quickly.

_FUCK! What does that mean? Is she flirting? No way… wishful thinking, Rizzoli. Oh my god, what the hell do I say to that?_

I should have known better than thinking I had gotten the upper hand. I wished for a breeze at that moment to cool down my face.

"Well, we will see about that… it's easy to be cocky through a text." I said, pleased with myself.

_How did we end up in this conversation? I've never heard her talk like this before. _

It was taking her a long time to respond. I assumed she couldn't think of a come-back or maybe she fell asleep. Satisfied that I won against the great mind of Dr. Isles, I led Jo back into the apartment.

My phone buzzed again, making me jump.

"You could always come back." Maura said, simply.

I wasn't even in her presence and she was able to render me motionless. My mouth was agape and Jo stared up at me, looking puzzled.

_Why would I come back? Why would she want me to? I have to be reading into this too much. Well, whatever she means by that, I have to cool it or she is going to see right through me._

"Nah, Jo is done with her walk, so I have to feed her and go to bed. I'll see you in the morning. 'night."

"Goodnight, Jane."

I was disappointed that she kept it simple. Part of me liked the flirty banter, even if it was only on my end.

_I could definitely go for more of that. _

* * *

I didn't see Maura until later the next morning. I was in the café, picking up a round of coffee for Frost, Korsak, and I.

"Hey ma. How's it going?"

"Jane, have you been ignoring me? You don't call me back anymore?" She said, giving me a good dose of grief.

"I'm sorry, I was at yoga the other day when you called and then…" I started to explain but Maura came out of nowhere and interjected.

"And then we went out on a date." Maura finished.

My head whipped around so fast, I was sure to have a nasty knot in my neck later. I threw Maura a "what-the-hell-did-you-just-say" look. She only smiled innocently. I quickly looked back at my mother, sure to see a horrified expression. Neither woman seemed at all fazed.

"We…we went out on a DOUBLE date, with two guys from yoga class." I said, feeling the need to clarify.

"Oh Janie, that's great!"

I looked to Maura for help but I was in this alone. She had an unreadable look about her. I glanced again and swore I could see the same faint smirk from the night before. I narrowed my eyes and continued to study her. The detective in me took over. Her face revealed very little.

_For someone who is no good at lying, her face sure hides a lot._

She was standing with her right hand on her hip, which was jutting out ever so slightly. Her left arm was hanging casually at her side. She seemed pleased with herself. I was trying not to notice how great she looked in her snug-fitting black skirt and her cobalt blue top. I glanced back down at her shoes. Open-toed black heels with a subtle silver buckle on top. As my eyes traveled back up, I was reminded once more of how great her legs looked when she wore heels. Further up, I was daydreaming about how her thighs might look; I remembered the outline of them in her satin pajamas. I felt myself smile. Her right hand was still in place but I noticed her left was no longer at her side. I looked at her face and I lost all of my breath. Her eyes were blazing into mine. It seemed she had witnessed my entire visual investigation of her body. Her left hand was nervously fidgeting with the collar of her blouse. This time, there was definitely a smirk and something else I couldn't pinpoint. I was feeling that electricity again and knew for a fact that my face and ears were beet red. I chanced another looked into her eyes, which earned me a raised eyebrow to match the smirk.

_Awww shit, she just watched me check her out! How am I gonna explain that? _

_If this is your idea of "playing it cool" you are gonna have some big-time problems. _

_You're in for a full-spectrum of questions from a person who does not do well with vague answers._

"Jane?!" My mother shouted.

"What?!" I shouted back, forgetting where I was.

"I was asking you a question. Maybe you should drink your coffee, it seems like you need a little focus."

"What was the question?" I asked, daring a look at Maura.

She really looked amused now, which made my face flush again.

"I was asking you about your date. What's his name? You said you know him from yoga class?" Ma inquired.

I pried my eyes away from Maura to address Ma.

"His name was Jorge and yes, we met at yoga."

"Was? Did something happen to him?"

Confused, I looked to Maura for help.

"Angela, Jorge is fine. Jane didn't find him…compatible." Maura answered on my behalf.

_Oh, here we go. Here comes the marriage/grandchildren speech. _

"Janie, you can't be so picky. Was he unkind to you?"

"No Ma, he was fine. I just, well, he didn't do it for me. I guess I wasn't attracted to him. And before you start talking about being a good Italian girl and providing you grandkids… we are not having this conversation." I folded my arms to impact my statement.

I could not let myself look at Maura. She just heard me say that I wasn't attracted to Jorge right after she caught me looking her up and down.

_You're so smooth. Really, you should write a book. _

"Ok, well, I have to run. Don't want the coffee to get cold. See ya!" I called over my shoulder as I rushed out of the café.

_Don't look back. Don't look back._

Of course, I looked back.

I peeked at Maura before I turned the corner. She had her back to me and was talking to Ma. Her skirt looked even better from behind.

_Yoga does REALLY nice things for her! _

Maura shifted and started to turn; I almost slipped in the effort I made to get out of view.

* * *

I made it back to my desk with all of our coffee intact.

"What took you so long? Are you feeling ok, your face is really red." Frost asked me.

This got Korsak's attention.

"What, did you have to take the stairs?" Korsak offered.

"No, I'm fine. I don't know, it's hot in here."

I passed out the coffee and took off my jacket.

"Have we gotten any more leads on this hit and run?" I asked, anxious to focus on work.

"I'm still sifting through surveillance footage from all of the cameras in the area. Nothing yet." Frost said, sounded frustrated.

"I got a couple anonymous phone tips but so far they haven't led to anything." Korsak added.

"Shit, I want to catch this guy. I'm gonna go through the files again."

Just then, my phone buzzed.

"Meet you at the Dirty Robber after work?"

_Maura. _

_Oh, I just can't get away from her, she's everywhere._

_Not like you mind._

_Have to get some work done!_

_Uh huh, good luck with that. _

"Umm sure, unless I'm still going through paperwork." I answered.

At least she couldn't see how red I was through a text message.

This time my phone rang. I thought it was Maura but saw that it was dispatch.

"Rizzoli…"

_Fuck, another hit and run._

"Let's go Frost." I said, ending the call.

Downstairs, we ran into Maura.

"Why don't you ride with us, Maura… we're heading to the same crime scene, right?" Frost suggested.

My stomach did cartwheels.

"Oh, that would be great." Maura said, accepting the offer.

When we reached the my car, I opened the backdoor for Maura.

"Thank you, Jane."

She put her hand on top of the car door, right next to where I was holding it open. We never actually touched, but it felt like we did from the surge of energy I got just being that close. I exhaled loudly.

We locked eyes once she was settled and I was overcome with the urge to kiss her again. She looked at me strangely and I took that as a cue to shut the door.

I tried my damnedest not to stare into the rearview mirror the whole drive. Maura was sitting right behind me and I felt the need to "check for traffic" behind me. She was gazing out the window and didn't seem to notice the attention from me.

_Stalker._

Frost interrupted my thoughts and apparently Maura's as well, because when he started talking, she jumped a little from the sound.

"Have you found anything of interest, Dr. Isles?"

I noticed her swing her head quickly in his direction.

"I'm sorry, what was your question?" She asked, sounding flustered.

"About our case, the hit and run from yesterday." Frost explained.

"Oh, yes, of course. No, I'm afraid not. We are running tests on a few different things. One substance that I believe might be paint but I can't say until the results come back."

"I thought you didn't 'guess' about things, Maur." I chimed in.

She leaned into the front between us. Her hair brushed my arm and gave me goose bumps.

"Sometimes, you just know the answer before you ask the question." Maura stated.

I swallowed hard and kept my eyes on the road. She returned to her position in the backseat.

"I hear ya, sometimes you gotta let intuition take the reins." Frost added.

I tightened my grip on the steering wheel.

_So, not only does every song I hear make me think of her, now every scrap of conversation does too. _

I was relieved to arrive at the crime scene. I practically jumped out of the car as I was putting it into park. I opened the door for Maura, this time, keeping my hand on the handle.

_There are way too many people here to risk getting shivers and goose bumps from Dr. Isles!_

I avoided eye contact and shut the door behind her. I flashed my badge at the uniformed officer monitoring the "crime scene" tape line. It was an unnecessary habit that I never could stop; it seemed everyone in Boston knew me. Maura walked ahead to examine the victim's body. There was a lot of blood and what looked like a compound fracture of the femur. That was hard to miss, even from this far away.

The first officer on scene came over to talk to Frost and I. There wasn't much to go by again. It seemed like the same type of hit and run as yesterday.

_What is this some sort of serial killer? What a weird way to kill. Seems like there are too many variables. Most serial killers are more methodical and precise. _

I walked towards Maura. She was squatted down next to the body, looking for evidence.

_Oh… that skirt has easily become one of my favorites!_

I came to a stop next to her and she looked up at me.

_How can she look so devastatingly beautiful in such a gruesome setting?_

I reached out a hand to help her up. She accepted my offer with her ungloved hand and I did my best to ignore the tingling sensation that ignited my entire body.

"Thanks." Maura said softly. "Looks like we have a lot of work to do."

"Yeah. We need some sort of break on these cases. Assuming they are related, we might have a serial killer driving around out there." I said, grimly.

"I have everything I need from here. What about you and Frost?"

"Not much info to collect, are you ready to head back to the station?" I asked.

"I believe so. I can't do anything more until I've examined the body."

This was going to be a busy day.

_I hate to say it, but I hope our plans to meet at the Dirty Robber aren't ruined. I have a feeling we will both need a drink after this._


	11. Paint chips and perfume

**A/N: So this is a filler chapter. I wanted it to be a little more exciting but it turned out to be a bridge for the next chapter. I will start the next chapter in a few mintutes and I hope to have it up later today. Work is annoying and getting in the way of what I really want to be doing. Since writing fan fics doesn't pay the bills, I've had to put this story on the back-burner. I'm always making notes or working on it in my head, so don't worry...I'm not giving up. :)**

* * *

The rest of the day went slowly. Every time the phone rang, we hoped it was a good lead. We had nothing and it was becoming discouraging,

"Hey Frost, I think I'm gonna drive by and check out the two crime scenes again, maybe there's something we missed." I said.

"Do you want me to go with you?" Frost offered.

"No, I'll be fine. Besides, you still have a bunch of video footage to go through, don't you?"

"Yeah, unfortunately, I do. Well, call if you need anything or get any new info." Frost frowned.

"Will do. Hold the down the fort." I patted his shoulder as I left the room.

I debated on going to the morgue to see Maura and let her know I was leaving. I thought better of it because I wasn't likely to actually make it to the crime scenes if I was in her presence. I opted to send her a text instead.

"Hey Maur, we are getting nowhere with these two cases. I'm gonna go to the 2 crime scenes for a bit and see if I can dig anything else up. Maybe Rondo knows something, he always seems to have some info."

I made it to my car out front when my phone buzzed with Maura's reply.

"I am processing the second victim right now. I know how frustrated you must be, we are working as hard as possible to get you some answers. Be careful out there, you're not alone are you?"

I smiled.

"Yes, I'm alone but I have my gun and I kinda know how to use it so I will be perfectly fine."

"There's no need to be sarcastic, Detective SMARTYPANTS. You better be around to meet up at the Dirty Robber later."

I couldn't help chuckling at the nickname Maura occasionally used towards me.

"Yes ma'am. ;) "

* * *

I left the radio off on purpose; I couldn't afford any more confusing feelings popping up induced by yet another song. I tried to focus my mind on the two hit and run cases but images of Maura floated in and out of my head. It wasn't until I arrived at the first crime scene that I was able to get my head 100% in the game.

There was still a bloodstain from where the first victim bled out on the pavement. I stood as close to it as possible without touching it. I turned slowly in all directions to get the full perspective of the location. Nothing struck me as unusual or out of place.

_Two hit and run's in two days and nobody has seen anything? How is that even possible? According to the TOD, these people were hit and killed in broad daylight._

I sent Rondo, my informant, a text asking him to meet me near the second crime scene in 20 minutes. I took another look around, my eyes scanning and trying to absorb the whole area. It was your typical industrial area with warehouses lining the street. This kind of place seemed to be a favorite for criminal activity. Even during the day, it seemed abandoned and devoid of any people.

I pulled up at the second crime scene a short time later.

"Vanilla! Hey girl, nice to see you…looking fine as usual." Rondo exclaimed, trotting up to me.

I rolled my eyes. Rondo had become my most reliable means of information from the streets but it came with a price; I had to put up with his constant compliments and admiration. I felt his eyes on me. He was a good guy but exhausting at the same time.

"Hey Rondo, got anything for me?" I inquired.

"Now, you know I keep my eyes and ears open…especially for you but I've got nuthin'." Rondo looked worried.

"What's wrong?"

"Well, I'm kinda shocked actually. Word travels fast out here and nobody knows shit about what happened."

"Ok, well…just do your thing and hopefully something will turn up. Thanks for meeting me." I slipped him a twenty dollar bill.

"My pleasure, Vanilla…mmm mmm mmm, always a pleasure." Rondo said, giving my entire body a once over.

"Yeah, yeah…get out of here. Call me when you get some info I can use." I said, dismissing him.

I walked the short distance to the second crime scene. This one was completely opposite of the first. It was in an alley type area right off a busy street. The area was popular for shopping and lunch; shops and café's up and down both sides of the street. I surveyed the scene the same as I had at the first. I once again, stood near the site where the body had landed and looked in every direction. I walked the entire alley twice. Back near where the body was, I found a tiny fleck of what was hopefully paint. It was the only thing I could find and figured it was a long shot but at least it was something. I bagged the item and tucked it into my suit jacket.

I thought I would go talk to some of the shop owners and see if they remembered anything. We already had statements from them all but it never hurt to ask after the dust settled a little. I hoped that it was enough time to recall details and yet still fresh in their minds from the day before.

The fourth store I went into sold perfume and I instantly thought of Maura. After asking the owner what I needed to, I decided to take a little time to find Maura a perfume. It was something I never would have done for someone since it seemed like such a personal choice but I wanted to return the favor.

_This is harder than I thought. Maura needs something sophisticated and breathtaking, like her._

My nose was assaulted with scents. Smelling the coffee beans used to help clear your nose, was helping a little but I was mentally overwhelmed also.

_Maybe this is too much. She would know right away what would be right for her. You're out of your element here, Rizzoli._

I didn't want to give up. I had it narrowed down to 3 scents.

"I will be right back…I need to clear my head a little." I said to the owner.

I walked to the café next door and asked the clerk the same questions about the hit and run that I asked everyone else. She gave me a coffee while we talked and that helped clear the remaining perfume smells from my nose. I thanked her and went back to the perfume shop. I walked right up to the scent that kept drawing me in, smelled it one last time and knew that it was the one. "Yellow Diamond" by Versace.

"Great choice! You have excellent taste." The owner smiled at me warmly.

"Thanks, I have never done this before." I confessed.

"Well, you already smell great, so I'm guessing this is not for you?"

I felt my face grow hot at the compliment.

"Uh, thanks…umm, no it's for someone else… the person that got me the scent that I have on."

"In that case, she's a very lucky lady." She handed me the bag and winked at me. "Here's my card if you need ANYTHING else, Detective."

My mouth dropped and I nearly knocked over a display as I tried to exit the store.

_Well, THAT was weird. She was clearly flirting with me…I think. I don't remember that ever happening to me before. _

I sat in my car, rethinking the events of what just happened. My phone buzzed and startled me.

A text from Maura.

"I'm about to leave work and I noticed you weren't back yet. Is everything ok?"

'Oh yeah, everything is fine. Didn't get much of anything…talked to a lot of people. I think I'm gonna head home. Did you still want to meet up?" I answered.

"Yes, I do. How about I pick you up around 6? There's no use of us both driving to the Dirty Robber." Maura suggested.

Something about that made my body feel lighter and I felt myself grinning.

"That sounds good. See you then."

I was suddenly feeling like this day might turn around. I carefully opened the Versace box and sprayed one shot of the perfume in the air over the passenger seat. I inhaled deeply and knew I made the right choice.

_If that stuff smells HALF as good on her as it does in the air, I am done for!_

I typed out a quick text to Frost, informing him about my lack of new information and let him know I was calling it a day.

I took a chance and turned on the car radio. I was feeling good. A little while into my drive home a peppy song came on and I had to laugh at the lyrics:

"Doctor, doctor, need you bad, hold me babe

Doctor, doctor, where ya at? Give me something

I need your love, I need your love, I need your loving

You got that kind of medicine that keeps me comin' My body needs a hero Come and save me

Something tells me you know how to save me

I've been feeling real low

Oh, I need you come and rescue me…"

I just shook my head and grinned.

_Oh, Doctor… you have NO idea!_

* * *

_**A/N: So just a fun little song reference in there for you. A little something to pep Jane up and get her ready for her evening. "Turn Me On" By David Guetta, featuring Nicki Manaj.**_


	12. The Dirty Robber

**A/N: I went back through and made some adjustments from the original posting of this. There were a couple of continuity errors that I noticed. Thanks for reading!**

* * *

I drove home more quickly than I should have but my excitement was building. It hadn't even been five days since my nightmare and it felt like so much had changed. I felt giddy about Maura coming to pick me up. Six days ago, I wouldn't have given it a second thought. It was no big deal, my best friend and I spending time together. Now, however, there was something more. There was a charge in the air that I could practically see. I showered quickly and sat on my bed staring into my closet.

_At least now I know why I care about what I'm wearing in front of Maura._

I decided on a deep cranberry colored button-down shirt over a black tank and black pants. I put on my favorite thick-heeled black boots to finish off my outfit. I pulled my hair back into a messy ponytail and as an after-thought put in some small silver hoop earrings. I almost never wore earrings but I was feeling so good that I wanted a little extra something. I went to the bathroom to put on some of the cologne Maura bought me.

I heard a knock on the door. I honestly had to steady myself against the sink before I could leave the bathroom. I practically ran to the front door.

_Geez, chill out before you have a heart attack. _

I took a deep breath and opened the door. Maura was straightening her blouse and when she looked up to see me grinning at her like a fool, her face lit up.

"Jane, you look fantastic. You're wearing earrings!" Maura exclaimed.

Words escaped me. I was standing there holding the door and taking in the sight before me. She was not wearing heels for once. She had on black sandals with delicate straps and black pants. Her top was what really got my attention. It was olive green and silk. It reminded me of the green sweater she was wearing a few nights ago that made her hair and eyes shine brightly.

"Come on in…" I finally managed, stepping aside.

"Thanks. Are you ready to go?" Maura asked.

"Almost." I retrieved the bag with Maura's gift and presented it to her.

"Here, this is for you." I said, holding the bag out to her.

"Something for me? What's the occasion?" She responded.

"I felt bad that you didn't find something for yourself when you went shopping the other day and you ended up buying me something. I wanted to return the gesture." I shrugged.

Maura pulled the bright yellow box out of the bag.

"Oh Jane! Versace?! You shouldn't have! This is wonderful. Thank you." Maura beamed.

"Well, like I said, I thought you should have something for yourself. I hope you like it. My nose was overwhelmed but I'm happy with the choice." I said, fidgeting shyly.

Maura immediately opened the box and sprayed some perfume into the air.

"Mmmmm, that is lovely."

She put some on her wrists and then behind her ears. She encircled me in a quick hug, which took me off guard.

"I love it, Jane. Thank you so much. You have great taste"

_I must have great taste because you are one gorgeous woman and you're all I can think about._

"You're welcome. I'm glad you like it." I replied.

"Are you ready, Detective?"

_Oh, that sounds just as good as when she says my name. _

"I sure am, let's go." I said, as I grabbed a jacket and opened the door for her.

* * *

The proximately of Maura next to me in the car did nothing to soothe my nerves. She was humming something I didn't recognize and I was trying my best not to stare at her. Even inch of her body was suddenly fascinating to me. I found myself memorizing the lines and angles of her wrists and hands. She turned to smile at me while we were stopped for a red light. She smelled the wrist that I had just been studying.

"What do you think? Does it smell ok on me?" She offered her wrist to me.

_I'd rather smell the spot behind your ear._

My stomach flipped at the thought of being that close to her and I remembered kissing her neck.

I leaned down to inhale the rich scent coming from Maura's outstretched arm. My nose brushed her wrist and I had to stop myself from kissing her there. I noticed goose bumps form on her arm as she pulled her hand back to the steering wheel.

"Ooh, that tickled." She said, shaking off the chill I had given her.

That made me smile.

_Serves you right, you have been giving me chills for days now._

"It smells really good." I concluded.

I couldn't tell her that the combination of that perfume on HER skin made my heart race and my very core tremble.

Once at the Dirty Robber, our favorite local tavern, we occupied our usual booth.

"I think I will have beer tonight." Maura announced.

My eyebrows shot up in disbelief.

"Oh really? No wine? You don't like beer remember?"

"I thought I would give it another try. You seem to like it so much, so how bad could it be?" Maura reasoned.

"Ok, if you say so." I wandered off to get two beers from the bar.

In the short time I was gone, a guy had already swooped in on Maura.

_Damn vultures! _

I walked back to the booth and leaned in front of the schmuck to set Maura's beer down in front of her. He stopped talking and turned to introduce himself. I would have been taller than him without shoes and with my boots on, I towered over him. His hand fell back down to his side when he saw the "fuck-off" look I was giving him. He muttered a "nice meeting you" to Maura and slinked back off to where his friends were waiting. They welcomed him back with laughter.

"You really need to work on your manners, Jane." Maura said with mock disgust.

There was a smile behind her words and I felt like she was secretly grateful for my return.

"Yeah, well…what can I say." I shrugged.

Maura tried a sip of her beer and made a face.

"I knew you wouldn't like it."

She took a larger drink, paused, and slid the bottle across to me.

"I'm sorry, I tried but I just don't get how you can drink that." Maura said, this time with genuine disgust.

"It's ok, you don't have to like it. Let me get you a glass of wine." I laughed, starting to leave the booth.

"No, I can get it. Stay here." Maura said.

I shot the guy across the room a "don't-even-think-about-it" look as he noticed Maura leaving the table. He spun around in his chair which raised more fits of laughter from his buddies.

Maura had this ethereal quality about her that made her seem to float or glide whenever she moved. She was the most graceful human I had ever laid eyes on. I noticed that everyone near her was consuming the vision that she was. Men, women…it didn't matter what they were thinking, they all were in awe of her and she had absolutely no idea. She went about her task of getting a glass of wine completely oblivious to the effect she had on every single person in the bar. The fact that she was my best friend made me proud and the fact that I was in love with her made me ecstatic and worried.

She arrived back at our table unfazed as usual. I had already finished my beer by this time and was about to start hers. I caught a whiff of her new perfume as she settled back into the booth. I inhaled sharply and closed my eyes. This did not go unnoticed.

"What's wrong?" Maura asked.

_Crap. Why does she have to notice everything?_

_Because that's her and she wouldn't be the excellent Medical Examiner that she is without being observant._

"Oh, nothing, I'm fine. I, umm, just smelled your perfume and thought it was nice." I said, immediately took a swig of beer to shut myself up.

"Oh good, I'm glad it works with my body's chemistry. I hate finding a scent I like only to find out that it doesn't wear well on me."

I looked up to see her sniffing her wrist again.

"Yes, it is settling in quite nicely. Great job, Jane…it's fantastic. I love it." She reached across the table to squeeze my hand.

It was a quick action but it made my heart pound all the same.

"Woah, Jane… you're lookin' hot."

I looked up to find someone that I had no desire to see, especially in a bar, and most definitely not with Maura around.

"Hello Giovanni." I said through clenched teeth.

"Who's the babe?" He asked, as if Maura could not hear him.

"Giovanni, this is Maura. Maura, this is Giovanni. We went to school together. I've known him since we were kids." I grunted.

"Nice to meet ya, Beautiful." Giovanni turned Maura's hand over, kissing the backside.

_I want to punch him in the eye. What exceptionally bad timing you have, Giovanni. Shit._

"I'm pleased to meet an old friend of Jane's" Maura said politely.

"I wouldn't go that far." I said, earning me a kick to the shin. Maura widened her eyes at me.

"Yeah, Janie and me used to date."

"Ummm no, we didn't. You asked me out just about every day and I turned you down every time. Stalking me is not the same as dating…I've told you that a million times." I shot back.

"Can I sit?" Giovanni said, starting to slide in next to Maura.

"Actually, we are working on a very important case and we were just discussing the details. I'm sorry, Giovanni, maybe some other time." Maura chimed in.

"You a cop too?"

"No, she's the Medical Examiner." I said quickly.

"Oh man, that's hot. I need some hot chicks like you two working at my garage." Giovanni said, practically drooling.

"Ok, big fella… move along. We have work to do." I said firmly.

He frowned and gave each of us one last look before sulking off.

"Well… that was interesting." Maura mustered.

"Yeah. It always is where Giovanni is concerned. Ma wanted me to date and eventually marry him. Yuck, can you imagine?"

"Well, he has excellent musculature and teeth." Maura offered.

I stared blankly at her.

"Are you fucking kidding me right now?"

"Jane! There's no use in swearing at me. I was just saying, physically he is a great specimen."

"Maura, if I had to spend an entire day with him, I would shoot him…imagine a lifetime. Hell no. I need another beer."

I bounded over to the bar to place my order. I was in a foul mood all of a sudden. Giovanni showing up really put me off. And Maura bugged me by thinking he was good looking.

_Hey, she got rid of him though. She could have let him sit down next to her and flirt with her the rest of the evening but she didn't. _

That thought cheered me up. Any other time she might have given me a hard time about not dating him. Or she might have even wanted to take him home for herself but none of that happened.

_Well, you DID make it pretty obvious that you were not happy with his presence._

I took my newly acquired beer back to the booth.

"Jane, I'm sorry if I upset you." Maura said, simply.

"Don't apologize, you didn't do anything wrong. Oh, I ordered us food. I got you that chicken sandwich you like with EXTRA green things." I smirked.

"And I suppose you got a burger with extra pickles?" Maura retorted.

"Yeap, MY version of extra green things." I winked at her.

"You're a brat." Maura pouted.

"They will bring out another glass of wine for you with your dinner too." I offered as a truce.

"Thank you, you're so thoughtful. You always take care of me." Maura gazed at me warmly.

I could only produce a small smile back as my emotions waged a full-scale war inside me. I didn't keep eye contact too long for fear that she would be able to watch the whole scene play out. I shifted nervously in my seat.

"Do you want to talk about the case?" Maura asked.

"Not really, to be honest. I just want to enjoy the night and not think or talk about work for once."

We fell into a comfortable silence. Each listening to the sounds created whenever you were in a room full of people. The symphony of chatter and utensils bumping against dishes. I felt Maura looking at me and looked up to met her gaze.

"You really do look great tonight, Jane. That is a marvelous color on you. I've been thinking…"

"Here we go ladies, one burger and one chicken sandwich. And also, your wine." The bartender interrupted Maura.

I swallowed hard, grateful that the food came at that moment. I had no idea what she was going to say but I felt better not knowing.

"This looks great." I eagerly grabbed my burger.

Maura seemed to hesitate as if she was going to continue what she was saying but she must have thought better of it. I ordered another beer and we ate our meals. Maura tried to get me to eat some of her lettuce but I wasn't having it.

* * *

I don't know how long we were at the tavern but I was feeling pretty buzzed; maybe it was because I knew Maura was driving. I normally watched how much I drank more closely. According to my tab, I had six beers.

"Are you ok to drive, Maura? I'm sorry, I guess I got carried away."

"I'm perfectly fine. I only had two glasses and we have been here a few hours"

"We have? Wow, it doesn't seem like that long. Although, time always stops when you're around."

Maura held out a hand to help pull me out of the booth. Once I was standing, she looped her arm through mine and we walked outside to the car. She stood on the passenger side while I wiggled myself into the seat. She bent down into the car, leaning over me, and fastened my seatbelt. She was adjusting the shoulder belt when I grabbed her hand.

"See, now YOU'RE taking care of me!" I smiled fondly.

With the alcohol running through me, I really had no control over my hands. She was still leaning over me and I reached up and cupped her face with my right hand. She froze and we stared at each other.

"Yer pretty." I said, giving her cheek a stroke with my thumb before letting my hand fall away.

* * *

I was vaguely aware of her getting into the car. The ride home was a little fuzzy. I know she was playing music. I think I was dozing in and out. At one point, I realized she was singing. I didn't remember ever hearing her sing before.

"…When the rain is pouring down

And my heart is hurting

You will always be around

This I know for certain

You and me together

Through the days and nights

I don't worry 'cause

Everything's gonna be alright…"

"Hmmm…you're singing. That's nice. What is this?" I mumbled.

Maura seemed startled that I was awake.

"Oh, I …well, it's "No One" by Alicia Keys. I love this song."

"It's awesome. You sing really good. Your voice is sexy." I turned and snuggled down into my seat.

* * *

I heard the car door slam and then the one nearest me open. I felt hands unbuckling my seatbelt.

_Ohhhh, something smells really good. _

_Where am I?_

My eyes flickered open. Maura's hair was right in front of me, inches from my face. I leaned forward to get a better whiff.

"Hey you." Maura said, suddenly.

I blinked.

"Hi." I managed.

"Come on, let's get you to your apartment, Detective Tipsypants." She chuckled close to my ear.

I felt her arms go under mine and behind my back as she helped pull me out of the car.

"I didn't know I had six. I guess I've become a lightweight." I apologized.

"Shhh, you're fine. I just need you to walk."

Maura's right arm was firmly around my waist, holding me upright and tight against her. We walked together that way until we made it up to my apartment.

"Where are your keys, Jane?"

"Hmmm, pocket. Haha, number 12...that's me!" I giggled, tapping the number on my apartment door.

"I assumed they were in your pocket but which one?" Maura fought to reason with me.

"Dunno."

She sighed and I felt her going through my jacket pockets. Finding nothing, she patted my pants, trying to narrow down the choices. She reached into my right pants pocket and retrieved my keys.

"Hahahaha, that tickles! Right pocket, keys always go in the right pocket!" I squirmed.

"Thanks for the help, now that I found them on my own." She was softly laughing at me.

"Mmmm, you're welcome."

"Alright, let's get you into bed." Maura said, walking me into my bedroom.

"Stay with me." I whispered.

"What Jane?"

"Stay with me, Maura… if you can, please."

She sat me down on the edge of my bed and knelt in front of me.

"Ok, I will." She replied as she began taking my boots off.

"Pants on or off?" She asked.

"Hmmm…off!" I replied as I fumbled with the buttons of my shirt.

"Hang on, give me a second and I will help you with that." Maura swatted my hands away from my buttons.

She helped stand me up so she could deal with my pants more easily. I felt my head drop as I was starting to nod off. Maura successfully removed my pants and realized I was falling asleep while standing up.

"Woah there, just give me one more minute…no passing out. I don't want you falling."

Maura put her hands on my hips to steady me but that only made me swoon from her touch. She pushed down on my shoulders instead and sat me back on the bed. I felt her kneel down again and she began unbuttoning my shirt. Once undone, she pulled my arms out of the sleeves and I was free. I flopped backwards on the bed. Maura lifted my legs up and over so I was on the bed the rest of the way.

"Mmmm, comfy. Come lay with me." I murmured.

"I'll be there in a few minutes, I have to take care of Jo and get the apartment locked up. Be right back."

* * *

I woke up to the bed shifting slightly.

"Wha…what's going on?" I said groggily.

"Shhh, it's just me…go back to sleep." Maura answered.

"Mmmm, Maura, Maura. Where have you been! I missed you." I scolded with my eyes still closed.

I scooted closer to her and snuggled up behind her. I wrapped my left arm tightly around her midsection and slipped my right arm under her neck. I nuzzled my face behind her ear and inhaled the scent of the perfume I bought for her.

-sigh-

"night, Maura… sweet dreams." I kissed the side of her neck.

I felt her back up into me and her fingers entwine with mine. I smiled against her neck and fell deeply asleep.

* * *

**A/N: It feels good to have this chapter finished. There were a couple things in this chapter that I have been thinking about for a while now.**


	13. Music to my ears

My phone was ringing , waking me up out of a sound sleep.

"Eh..hello? I stammered.

"It's time to wake up, Jane. I don't want you to be late for work."

"Maura? But what…where are you?"

"I'm at home and about to leave for work." Maura responded.

"Umm ok, I guess I will see you later. Thanks for the wake up call."

"You're welcome. I hope you have a great morning. Talk to you soon, bye." Maura said, cheerfully.

"Yeah, ok…ummm you too."

I ended the call and looked around. The covers on the right side of the bed were pulled up tight. I looked down at myself to see I was in my underwear and black tank top. My shirt and pants from the night before were draped neatly over the back of a chair.

_What happened? I don't remember…_

I remembered being at the Dirty Robber with Maura. We ate and had some drinks. I fought off some sleaze balls.

_How did I get here? _

I wandered into the bathroom to use the toilet before taking Jo out. I looked in the mirror.

_You've looked better, hotshot._

Rubbing my eyes, I made my way into the living room to take Jo for her walk.

"Morning, Jo. Do YOU know what happened last night? If so, can ya fill me in?"

I got a little bark as an answer.

"Oh, that clears it up." I laughed.

After the morning business, I made my way back up to the apartment to feed her. It wasn't until I was about to leave the kitchen that I noticed something out of place. The sugar bowl was on the counter with a spoon laid out next to it. There was a fresh coffee mug waiting for me and next to that was my jar of instant coffee. What was out of place was the cd leaning against the jar.

Puzzled, I moved in for a closer look. There was a yellow sticky-note stuck to the cover of the cd.

It was Maura's handwriting.

"Jane- I didn't know what to do to help you. I hope this answers some questions. Love, M."

I pulled the note off to reveal the cd's cover. Norah Jones "Come Away With Me"

I certainly had heard of her but couldn't think of any songs I knew. I flipped the cd over to look at the track listing. My heart stopped. There were fourteen songs on the album and three of them had red hearts drawn on the case around the numbers of the tracks.

#5 the title track, "Come Away With Me", # 9 "I've Got To See You Again" and # 14 "The Nearness Of You"

I seriously couldn't move. I kept looking at the red hearts and felt my heart thundering in my chest.

_What is this? What is she trying to say?_

It dawned on me that what she was trying to tell me would be answered by listening to the songs.

I picked up my phone.

"Frost, I may be a little late. See you soon, ok?"

I took the cd to my stereo, advanced to #5 and sat down. Slow smooth sounds came from my speakers and then a velvety voice jarred my soul.

"Come away with me in the night

Come away with me

And I will write you a song

Come away with me on a bus

Come away where they can't tempt us

With their lies

And I want to walk with you

On a cloudy day

In fields where the yellow grass grows knee-high

So won't you try to come?

Come away with me and we'll kiss

On a mountaintop

Come away with me

And I'll never stop loving you

And I want to wake up with the rain

Falling on a tin roof

While I'm safe there in your arms

So all I ask is for you

To come away with me in the night

Come away with me"

I was following along with the song using the lyric sheet and my hands were shaking as I was holding it. When the song ended I paused the cd.

Frost had text me back.

"No problem, Jane. I hope everything is ok."

_I'm not sure, but I think it's about to get a whole lot better. _

I played # 9 next. Sultry piano kicked things off.

"Lines on your face

Don't bother me

Down in my chair

When you dance over me

I can't help myself

I've got to see you again

Late in the night

When I'm all alone

And I look at the clock

And I know you're not home

I can't help myself

I've got to see you again

I could almost go there

Just to watch you be seen

I could almost go there

Just to live in a dream

But no, I won't go

For any of those things

To not touch your skin

Is not why I sing

I can't help myself

I've got to see you again

I could almost go there

Just to watch you be seen

I could almost go there

Just to live in a dream

No, I won't go

To share you with them

But oh, even though I know where you've been

I can't help myself

I've got to see you again

Oh, I can't help myself

I've got to see you again"

_Oh, that was sexy. This woman really knows how sing._

I wasn't sure to do with this information.

_Is she humoring me? Does she know how I feel and is trying to diffuse the situation? Is she trying to let me know that our friendship will be fine despite this unfortunate turn of events?_

I felt like I had more questions than answers. I started the last song.

"It's not the pale moon that excites me

That thrills and delights me

Oh no, it's just the nearness of you

It isn't your sweet conversation

That brings this sensation

Oh no, it's just the nearness of you

When you're in my arms

And I feel you so close to m

eAll my wildest dreams came true

I need no soft lights to enchant me

If you will only grant me

the right to hold you ever so tight

And to feel in the night the nearness of you"

I was in a daze as I showered and got ready for work. I kept humming little parts of each song that I barely knew and was already in love with. I tried not to read too much into it but it was hard not to when the words to the songs were so meaningful.

_She wanted me to hear those specific songs. It's not like all of the other songs you have been hearing that make you think of her. She CHOSE these for you, it has to be a literal thing. Right?_

* * *

I dressed quickly, grabbed the cd, and headed for the car. I alternated between the three songs on the way to work. Each time, the seductive sounds seeped into my very being. I didn't know what I was going to say but I did know that I had to talk to Maura right away. Such a gesture could not be ignored or pondered on all day. I owed it to her to thank her and acknowledge the token at the very least.

I headed straight for the elevator once I got to the station. Without giving myself time to chicken out, I pressed the down button.

When the elevator door opened on the bottom floor, I took a deep breath and made my way to Maura's office.

When I didn't find her there, I continued on to the Morgue.

"Hi." I said, when I found her.

She spun around from the microscope in surprise.

"Hi." She said, softly. "How do you feel?"

"Well…" I started to say.

"I mean, after drinking… do you feel ok?" She interrupted, looking slightly flushed.

I smiled. It was not normal to see Maura off guard. It made me feel a little better about the rush of emotions I had running through me.

"I feel pretty good, actually. What exactly happened? I basically remember being at the Robber and having dinner and drinks." I inquired.

"How much detail do you want?" Maura perked up an eyebrow.

"Uh oh, I don't know if I like the sound of that. Ummm, why don't you start and I will let you know if I get too embarrassed to continue." I winced.

"I thought I was going to be daring and drink beer but that lasted all of two sips. A guy tried talking to me while you were at the bar but you saw to it that he was not welcome."

"Yikes, sorry about that." I interjected.

She just smiled and continued with her story.

"You ordered dinner for us and refused to eat even a scrap of lettuce." She gave me a disapproving look. "You really ought to eat better, Jane.

"Yes, mother." I said, sarcastically.

She shot me another stern look.

"Anyway, then your 'lovely' friend, Giovanni came over and I thought you might have a stroke for how hard you were glaring at him!"

"Oh." I said, quietly. "Sorry if I embarrassed you."

"Jane, you never embarrass me."

I looked shyly down at the floor. I felt her looking at me but I didn't dare look up.

"We talked and you had a good deal of beer and then it was time to go. Still with me?"

"Yes, go on." I answered.

I was starting to get nervous because even though I couldn't remember what happened next, I had a general feeling of uneasiness.

_What did I do? What if I tried to kiss her or something! What if I confessed my feelings for her. Oh shit, this is getting intense._

I tried to look as normal as possible throughout this conversation but I doubted I was pulling it off.

"I have to know…was I a total drunk asshole?" I said, shakily.

"No, Jane, you were fine. You were not obnoxious at all and quite agreeable, actually. I guess you are what they call a 'happy drunk'…?" Maura offered.

I breathed a sigh of relief.

"So, I got you in the car and took you home. There was some uncertainty of where you had put your keys but that was solved easily enough. I helped you remove your boots and some clothes so you could sleep comfortably. I took Jo Friday out and locked up your apartment for the night." Maura concluded.

"And then… you went home?"

I started remembering bits and pieces of the night and I was certain that she had stayed the night. Maura looked away briefly before responding, a smile played lightly on her lips.

"No, I stayed with you… like you asked."

_What? I asked her to stay? Well, that's not so bad right? I mean we have stayed over at each other's places before. We fell asleep wrapped up in each other on her couch just the other day._

The thought of that morning gave me chills. I caught myself daydreaming and brought my attention back to the conversation I was having.

"That was nice of you, Maur. Thank you for helping me home and taking care of me. Sorry I was such a loser and got out of control."

"Don't apologize, it was fine. Apparently you needed a night out like that and I was more than happy to take care of you." Maura said, sweetly.

"So, um, when did you go home?"

"I got up at 5am and went home to get ready for work since I didn't have extra clothes with me."

"Oh, of course, that makes sense. I hope I didn't snore or anything. Did you sleep ok?"

"You didn't snore at all. I think you maybe were talking in your sleep a little but it didn't bother me. In fact, I don't remember ever sleeping so good." Maura reassured me.

My face grew hot and I couldn't stop the grin from spreading across my face.

"I felt pretty amazing when I woke up, even if I was not sure where I was!" I joked.

"So, um, thanks for setting out my coffee for me and all that." I said, nervously.

Just then, Maura got up from her chair and came to stand in front of me. The air swirled around us and I was enveloped in her scent and mesmerized by her beauty. I felt myself sway ever so slightly. She took my hands in hers and I was truly scared and excited all at once.

_Oh god, here is where she lets me down easy. She's gonna say that it's ok and that it won't effect our friendship. That she's sorry but she couldn't possibly have feelings for me like I do for her._

I didn't care what she was about to say because all I could think about was the softness of her hands in mine and how the warmth was spreading across my whole body. As long as we stood like this, it didn't matter what words she said.

"Jane, I want you to come over tonight and we will have dinner and…talk. Ok?" Maura stared up into my eyes in that way that made me melt.

"I would love to." I choked out.

Her eyes lit up and she squeezed my hands.

"Great! I'll start thinking of what to make." Maura said, smiling.

Our hands slid slowly apart and as they did, our fingertips held on to each other for just a moment longer before disconnecting the circuit between us. I instantly had withdrawals from the lack of physical contact.

"I guess I will see you later then, have a good day. Let me know if I can help you in any way on the case."

I was stalling because now more than ever, I found it difficult to leave her. It was silly really, I would be just upstairs and it wouldn't be that long until I saw her again.

You can't reason with your heart. It counts the seconds like they were hours. The heart is not a patient thing.

_This is going to be the longest day ever._

"See you soon, Detective."


	14. The straw that broke the camel's back

As promised, time seemed to drag on. I couldn't concentrate on anything and I felt Frost and Korsak looking at me.

"Why are you guys staring at me?"

"Well, you've been humming and smiling all morning." Korsak answered.

"So?" I said, defensively.

"Well, we couldn't help but notice since you don't normally hum or have a permanent smile glued to your face."

I opened my mouth to tell Korsak off when I felt my phone buzz.

It was Maura.

I managed to stifle my grin before it started. I didn't want to give the guys more ammunition against me.

"Great news, we have some of the test results back. You may to come down here." Maura's text explained.

I jumped up from my desk almost knocking my chair over. This earned a smirk from Frost and a light chuckle from Korsak.

"What? There's news on the case, gotta go check it out." I gave them a dirty look and sprinted out of the room.

Once in the elevator, I tried to convince myself that my impatience over the long ride was due to the excitement of the lab results.

_Good try, but you KNOW you're excited to see Maura again._

_Well, it's been like half the day since I saw her last, so yeah._

I burst through the doors while they were still opening and clipped my shoulder on my way out.

_That's gonna leave a mark._

Maura was in the lab and saw me enter the morgue. It looked like slow motion as she walked towards me and this time I couldn't stop the grin from exploding on my face. She looked like she was floating in that way that was pure Maura. By the time she reached me she was smiling and it made my heart swell.

"I can tell you're excited for the results so here goes…" Maura started.

I had already forgotten that was why I was here. The only thing on my mind was her and how gorgeous she was. I was excited to hear about what she had to say but I found myself more interested in how her mouth moved when she talked. I couldn't help wondering how it would feel against my own mouth.

_I bet she's a great kisser._

I felt a familiar flush and my eyes widen as I had that thought. Maura stopped talking and bit her lip which made me realize she caught me staring at her mouth. My face grew hotter and I turned away from her in order to break the trance I was under.

_Shit, you are not very subtle. You're worse than a guy…might as well be staring at her…_

_Ohhhh… Ummm, don't finish that thought!_

"So, as I was saying… some evidence collected at the first crime scene did turn out to be paint; car paint to be exact." Maura concluded.

This got my immediate attention and I went into work mode.

"When I went to the crime scenes yesterday, I found a sliver of something at the second location. I put it in my jacket and forgot all about it. It's not much to go on but maybe it's enough to compare to your sample." I said, hopeful.

"Where is it?"

"It's in my car, I'll go get it."

I returned several minutes later with the plastic bag I retrieved from my jacket. Maura rushed it into the lab to be processed.

"I feel like such an ass. It's not like me to forget about something so crucial."

"Well, you've had a lot on your mind lately." Maura reasoned.

I glanced quickly at her.

"You know, what with your nightmare about Hoyt and all." Maura said.

I didn't miss the slight knowing smile as she turned away from me.

"Right, exactly… a lot to think about." I countered.

"So, the paint chip…what did you find out about it?" I said, trying to turn the conversation back towards work.

"It is a white automotive paint used primarily by Toyota. I don't know if we can narrow it down to a specific model. I'm not sure if they use the same color white in all of their vehicles." Maura answered.

"Can you get me the chemical composition and anything else you know about it? I will have Frost contact Toyota and see if they can give us more information."

"Certainly, I will have it for you within the hour. Hopefully, we will have the results of your paint sliver by then too."

"Great, Maur…I'm going to see if Frost found anything on the surveillance footage showing a white Toyota and get him started on the paint research. Talk to you soon."

"Don't forget about dinner tonight, I'm making Fettuccini Alfredo. I'm sorry that I won't have time to make homemade noodles though." Maura said, a bit sadly.

"I won't forget." I responded, shyly.

"Good, you better not. If you have time, would you mind picking up more of that Cabernet Sauvignon you bought last time? It wouldn't normally be paired with Fettuccini Alfredo but I really enjoyed it." Maura beamed.

"It would be my pleasure." I grinned.

I practically bounced out of the room.

_This is going to be a good night, I can just feel it!_

* * *

I picked the wine up on my way home so I wouldn't have to do it with Jo Friday in the car again. I was planning on bringing her to Maura's house since she made it such a point last time. Not that I minded the teasing and flirty side of Maura one bit. I thought about picking up flowers also but it seemed too cheesy.

As usual, Jo was excited to see me and even more so to go on her walk. I was in a fantastic mood and I found myself half humming/half singing the Alicia Keys song "No One". I vaguely remembered hearing it in the car when Maura drove me home from the Dirty Robber.

_I didn't just hear it…she was singing it! Ohh, she sounded good too._

That made me nervous of what other things I couldn't remember from the night.

_Can't be that bad, she is still talking to me and she left me that cd._

Once Jo was satisfied with her walk, we went back up to the apartment so I could shower and change. It felt like all I was doing lately was showering and fussing over what clothes to wear.

I turned on the Norah Jones cd so that I could listen to it while I got ready. The smooth sounds of her voice instantly put me at ease and raised my excitement level at the same time. I had no idea what the night would hold for us but it was obvious that Maura seemed to be on a similar path as me. The idea that in less than a week, I could fall in love with her and that she might actually feel the same was almost too much to contemplate. It made my head swim.

I got dressed as quickly as possible. I opted for my standard black pants and dress boots combo because they were both very comfortable. I picked out an olive green dressy t-shirt to complement my skin tone and threw my hair up again.

_She's not the only one who can look good in green. _

It was a wicked but satisfying thought that maybe I could distract her for once.

_Two can play that game, Dr._

I smiled at my reflection and it winked back at me.

I got Jo hooked up to her leash again, picked up the wine and headed to the car. I thought about throwing an overnight bag together but didn't want to seem presumptuous. Not that it ever stopped either of us from staying over before.

Before driving off, I shot Maura a quick "I'm on my way" text and chose "Titanium" from my iPod and turned up the volume.

The song had its usual effect on me and got me pumped up. I was on top of the world.

I pulled into Maura's driveway. I gathered up my phone, the wine, and Jo Friday. I knocked on the door despite Maura always saying I didn't have to. Because of our new and uncharted waters, I especially didn't feel comfortable just walking into her house. I gave myself a quick once over and smoothed out my clothes while I waited.

Maura finally opened the door and the look on her face was not a pleasant one.

"Hey Maur…" I started.

"Jane, I tried calling you…I tried and tried and you didn't answer. We need to…" Maura said frantically.

What I saw over her shoulder made me want to throw up. A man; but not just any man, it was Ian. The amazingly perfect albeit largely absent on-again/off-again flame of Maura's. The great doctor who healed those in need in Africa.

_WHAT-THE-FUCK._

My injured heart took over and didn't let my brain think. I shoved the bottle of wine at Maura and without another word, I was back in the car with Jo and peeling out of the driveway.

I didn't know where I was going but I knew I had to get out of there. I couldn't bear looking back in Maura's direction but I could tell from the amount of light that she had to still be standing in the doorway. Moments later, my phone rang. I wanted to throw it out the window; instead I just silenced it. I was gripping the steering wheel with both hands, which had turned white from the pressure.

_I should have fucking known that she couldn't possibly love me back. Fucking Ian. Why didn't she tell me he was back? Was this her way of breaking it to me gently… by the three of us sitting down to dinner together? Christ, that's just cruel._

I stopped at a traffic light and picked up my iPod. I wanted music but I had to be very careful with what I chose. It was an easy choice, Rihanna's album "Rated R." Her music always seemed to distract me.

I got onto I-93 and headed north. I didn't have any destination in mind, I just had to drive. I didn't want to go home.

* * *

I had been driving for over a half hour and was almost through the whole cd when number 11, "Te Amo" started playing.

_Oh hell no, I am NOT listening to this… she clearly does NOT love me._

I clicked to the next song. Like many of the songs I had been hearing lately, this next one snuck up on me.

"On my roof

Dark and I'm burning a rose

I don't need proof

I'm torn apart & you know

What you did to me was a crime

Cold Case Love

And I let you reach me one more time

But that's enough

Your love was breaking the law

But I needed a witness

So pick me up when it's over

It don't make any difference

Will it ever be solved

Or am I taking the fall

Truth was there all along

Tell me how did we miss it

We opened up a cold case love

And it got the best of us

And now prints, pictures & white outlines

Are all that's left at the scene of a crime

Of a cold case love

Should've investigated

But love blinded eyes couldn't see (no)

And then I tried to cage it

But your love ain't the kind you can keep

Release me now cause I did my time

Of this cold case love

My heart's no longer cold & confined

I've had enough

Your love was breaking the law

But I needed a witness

So pick me up when it's over

It don't make any difference

Will it ever be solved

Or am I taking the fall

Truth was there all along

Tell me how did we miss it

We opened up a cold case love

And it got the best of us

And now prints, pictures & white outline

sAre all that's left at the scene of a crime

Of a cold case love

We lost our way

Took this too far

Now I'll never find the pieces of my heart

We've lost enough

Looking for a truth

That was here all along

Cold case love

And it got the best of us

and now prints, pictures & white outlines

Are all that's left at the scene of a crime

Of a cold case love

We opened up a cold case love

And it got the best of us

and now prints, pictures & white outlines

Are all that's left at the scene of a crime

Of a cold case love"

This got my attention and the tears started.

_We didn't even have a chance to get started and now there's no hope. _

I set the song to repeat and got off on the next exit to turn around for home.

* * *

**A/N: So I have been working 20 days in a row with no days off. I apologize for not updating sooner. It has been driving me insane to not be able to write. I hope to update again soon. This was a pretty angsty end to the chapter but since when does love make sense or play fair?**


	15. THE talk

**A/N: So, work has been brutal. I hope this update makes up for it! Super long. Enjoy. :)**

I think I was gone for a few hours altogether when I finally pulled up to my apartment building. I had driven all over the city listening to the song over and over. My tears had dried up awhile ago and now I was just exhausted. Jo didn't seem to mind the ride except for the sad look she gave me while I was crying.

_Well, what exactly did you think would happen with this whole thing? _

I was trying to keep my cool but when Maura left me that cd this morning, I thought I was safe to have some hope.

_You're a damn fool. _

I was fumbling with my keys and almost to my front door when I heard Jo Friday let out a small bark. I glanced up and was surprised to see Maura. She was sitting on the floor and leaning against the wall by my door.

"What are you doing here?" I snapped.

"Waiting for you." Maura said in a small voice.

She made no attempt to move and instead gazed up at me. I stared back at her, not really wanting to make eye contact but unable to look away.

"How long have you been here? I said, with bite still in my voice.

"A couple of hours."

My eyes grew wide.

"Why? You shouldn't keep Ian waiting, you never know when he will disappear again." I said gruffly, not bothering to hide the disgust in my tone.

Maura sighed.

"Jane, he IS gone. I came here to talk to you."

I paused while inserting my key into the lock and turned my head slightly.

"Why bother? It seems kinda pointless. Come on, Jo."

I allowed the little dog to walk past me and enter the apartment. I looked down at Maura and followed Jo inside, closing the door behind me.

_FUCK! _

It was everything I could do not to burst into tears again. I stood at the kitchen sink with my head bowed down.

"You didn't lock the door."

"My mistake… you can leave now." I hissed.

I heard a whimper behind me and I instantly regretted saying something so harsh.

"Jane, please… we need to talk. I'm not leaving until we do." Maura choked out.

"Well, there's the couch…I'm going to bed."

I started to turn for the bedroom and she was next to me in an instant. She stood firmly in my path. Her eyes were red and swollen but I saw the determination in them.

"Please move so I can go to bed." I tried.

She stepped forward. I took one step back. She reached out and tried to take my hand in hers. I flinched and shook her off.

"Don't touch me…please move." I spat.

"Please…please Jane. There is an explanation. Please just hear me out."

I heard her voice crack and chanced a look at her face. Tears had formed in her eyes and my heart broke even more at the sight.

"Fine. You have 10mins and then I'm going to sleep." I put my hands on my hips.

She sighed deeply and searched my eyes. I looked away.

"I wish you wouldn't have left like that."

My mouth dropped open.

"What the hell did you expect? Did you think that the three of us were going to have a nice friendly dinner and then maybe sing Kumbaya afterwards?" I rolled my eyes.

"Jane, please… you're being mean. Let me explain."

"I'm waiting and the clock is ticking."

Maura turned around and left the apartment.

I felt sick.

_Way to go. You are a complete asshole. Regardless of what happens, she is still your best friend and she doesn't deserve this treatment._

I dashed to the front door, hoping to catch her.

"Maura, wait." I called.

I threw the door open, expecting to run after her. Instead, I almost knocked her over. Her eyes grew wide in surprise. I saw she was holding the bottle of wine and a huge plastic container. I didn't notice at the time, but she must have had them with her while she was waiting for me to come home.

"I…I thought you left." I said, in a small voice.

Maura walked past me and set the items on the counter.

"I should leave. You're being very cruel. However, I understand that you're upset and hurt. I told you we need to talk and we shall. Besides, you're not going to get rid of me that easily."

I couldn't help letting a little smile escape onto my face.

_This woman is like nothing I have ever encountered before. Anyone else would have left or slapped me, or both. _

As a peace offering, I took the wine from her and began opening the bottle while she put some of the Fettuccini in the microwave.

"I'm sorry for being an ass. You're right though, I AM hurt and upset."

"THAT, did not escape my attention in the slightest." Maura smiled.

I handed her a glass of wine and took a sip of mine.

"Did you think to check your missed calls, voicemail, and texts?"

"No. I didn't want to." I admitted.

"I called you repeatedly AND text you before you came over tonight."

"I was…I had the music on really loud and I might have been singing along." I blushed.

"Sweetie, what happened tonight was not in any way what you think." Maura said, softly.

Just then, the microwave beeped and Maura divided the food onto the plates. It smelled amazing and my stomach was not shy about reminding me how hungry I was.

"Can we eat first and then talk?" I offered.

"Of course." Maura said, sounding pleased.

We ate mostly in silence except for the moans of pleasure that I could not contain.

"This is wonderful!" I said, happily.

"I'm glad you like it. It would have been better fresh and with homemade noodles. Oh, and I forgot the garlic bread."

"It's perfect."

Maura flashed me a stunning smile and in that moment, I forgot about everything else.

"I came home from work and started dinner. I didn't get to respond to your text about you being on your way because there was a knock on my door. When I answered it, I expected it to be you. I thought maybe you were being funny or something."

Maura paused to drink her wine. I sat quietly finishing my dinner.

"Jane, I promise you, I had NO idea that Ian was in town. He hugged me and all I could think about was getting to my phone to warn you or stop you or something! I knew that if I couldn't reach you, that you would assume the worst when you saw that he was there. I don't blame you. It had to look horrible from your perspective."

Maura paused to check my reaction. I nodded for her to continue.

"Ian was so excited to be back and he kept talking about how good it was to see me. I felt sick to my stomach because I couldn't reach you. The last thing I wanted was what happened. It makes me ill to picture the look on your face when you saw him."

Maura wiped a tear from her cheek as it fell.

"As soon as you left, I started sobbing. Ian couldn't calm me down and he had no idea what had happened. I only wanted to chase after you and when you didn't answer your phone, I was devastated. When I finally could breathe again, I talked to Ian."

"That was a really tough moment for me. What did you say to him?" I asked.

"I explained that he couldn't just appear out of nowhere and pop into my life whenever he wanted. I told him that I was not in the same place personally as I was when he last saw me. I said that I valued our time together and I loved him for it but we would not be able to continue the relationship."

I said nothing because I sensed that she wasn't done talking.

"I also mentioned that I had feelings for someone else." Maura said, quietly.

I choked on my wine but managed to keep from spitting it out.

"What did he say?" I managed.

"He was surprisingly understanding. He told me that it was only a matter of time before someone else came along and won my affections. He said that they were lucky as hell and he was happy for me. He wished me the best and thanked me for our time together."

"That is surprising. How do you feel about it?" I asked.

"I feel fine about it. It was time to let go and move on. I just wish that it didn't happen the way it did. I'm sorry you got hurt. You should know that I wish to never hurt you, Jane."

I wasn't sure what she meant by that. It still sounded like she was letting me down easy but everything else made it seem like she had feelings for me too.

_Well, she DID tell Ian that she had feelings for someone else._

_Yes, but that doesn't mean that person is you._

"Maura, I'm really confused." I blurted.

She smiled at me and stood up.

"Come on, let's sit on the couch."

I picked up the bottle of wine and followed her.

I smiled when I saw her sit on the left side in "her spot". She sat cross-legged facing me. I mirrored her gesture and waited.

"This is a tough question, but how exactly did you feel when you saw Ian?"

"Enraged. Betrayed. Lost." I admitted.

Maura's eyes had a sad look to them and she placed her hand on my right knee.

"Jane, I am so sorry." Maura choked back a sob.

"It's…" I tried.

"Don't say 'it's ok', because it's not." She interrupted.

I hated seeing her upset. All of my anger from earlier had melted away and I just wanted to make her feel better. I placed my hand over hers and squeezed.

"Maura, I acted like a child. I never should've taken off like that. I don't know what I was thinking…I just had to get out of there."

"You had every right to be upset. Like I said, I can't imagine how that looked to you; or felt for that matter."

"I should have handled it better. I deal with high pressure situations and all kinds of stuff at work but this…this was different. I couldn't control my reaction. When it comes to…" I stopped myself.

"What? When it comes to what, Jane?"

I sighed and tried not to look at her.

_This is embarrassing. I can't say what I'm thinking, she's going to think I'm nuts._

She gave my knee a little shake.

"It's ok…tell me." Maura coaxed.

I snuck a look at her. She was patiently waiting for me to continue. She looked at me with the most sincere and genuine expression.

_I love you, Maura Isles. With every fiber of my being. You are the most amazing person I have ever met._

-sigh-

"It seems, that when it comes to… things involving… you, I tend to go a little overboard." I said, looking down at the couch cushion.

"And why do you think that is?" Maura responded quietly.

"What, are you a shrink now too?" I joked, stalling.

"Well, I did study quite a bit…oh wait, you're being a smart-ass, aren't you?"

"Sarcasm is sooo lost on you sometimes." I laughed.

She laughed and swatted my shoulder with her right hand.

"You're avoiding the question." Maura said.

I tried to shrug like I didn't know what she was talking about as I took a drink of my wine.

"You don't think I know that you use humor to deflect when you're uncomfortable?"

I choked again.

"Oh, you know me that well do you?" I raised an eyebrow.

"I think you know that I do. I would be willing to bet that I know you better than you know yourself sometimes." Maura challenged.

My face flushed.

_Don't take the bait, Rizzoli._

"So, that being said… you can either answer my question or I will tell YOU what I think your answer is." Maura grinned.

_Shit. _

"I forgot the question." I tried.

She gave me a mock look of impatience and huffed.

"Very well, Detective… I will refresh your memory."

She scooted forward, towards me, so that our knees were almost touching and took my hands in hers.

"Do I have your attention now?" She asked, in a low voice.

I swallowed hard and nodded.

_Oh, this is getting serious._

"Good. Now, I asked you, why it is that you go 'overboard' when I am involved?" Maura's eyes burned into mine.

_Double shit._

"You're my best friend and I want to make sure you're safe and happy." I answered.

"That's very sweet but that's a bullshit answer. There's more to it than that and you know it."

_Damn it. She always sees right through my crap and calls me on it!_

_Yes, and that is one of the qualities that you find most endearing about her._

"Why did you leave me that cd, Maur?"

She smiled and I knew she recognized that I was turning the questions around on her. She didn't seem to mind.

"Because you needed it." She said, simply.

"For what?"

"I felt you needed some answers, like I said on my note."

_Oh, she is being cryptic now. _

"So if you think you had the answers, then that means you know the questions?" I said, just as cryptically.

She grinned again and nodded.

_I can't take this anymore!_

I sucked in a deep breath and closed my eyes.

"Maura, I have grown very attached to you. You're my best friend and … I think… I want it to be more."

When she didn't say anything, I looked up at her. There were fresh tears pooling in her eyes.

"Oh my god, I'm sorry…I shouldn't have said that. Listen, Maur… the last thing I want is to ruin our friendship. I don't even know what I am saying…just forget everything.

She threw her arms around my neck and hugged me hard. Her hair spilled over my face and I inhaled. When she pulled away, she had a huge smile on her face.

"I think you're right, Jane."

"About which part?"

"About the 'more' part. I have never in my life felt more at ease and comfortable around someone as I do when I'm with you." Maura said.

"But..?"

She cocked her head to the side.

"There is no 'but'. I have a fondness for you that I have never encountered before. No one makes me feel like you do." Maura continued.

I chuckled.

"What's so funny?" Maura looked offended.

"Oh no! I'm sorry, I wasn't laughing at you. What you said just reminded me of you singing in the car last night. Alicia Keys "No One"…remember?"

She looked shocked.

"Of course I remember, but I'm surprised you do!" She laughed.

I blushed slightly.

"Yeah, it was nice. You should sing more often."

"Maybe I will." She smiled and squeezed above my knee this time.

I think we both felt shy because we went quiet and reached for our wine at the same time.

"What does this all mean, Maura?"

"I don't know. What do you want it to mean?"

"I'm not sure but I want to find out." I offered.

"I've had experiences before, in Boarding School, but I haven't ever felt like this before." Maura said.

"YOU HAVE?" I said, loudly.

"Well sure. Nothing too serious but when you grow up with nothing but bunch of other girls, you try things." Maura shrugged.

_Holy shit._

"Oh."

"Jane, I have never felt this way with ANYONE, including Ian. I have to admit, it's a little scary but exciting too." Maura beamed.

"I think you are the most beautiful and amazing person that I have ever met. Lately, every time I'm near you, I get all stupid and giggly feeling." I said, shyly.

She laughed softly.

"Yes, I've noticed."

"What! You're not supposed to say that! Oh my god!" I exclaimed.

"I'm sorry! I told you, I know you well. I started noticing these little changes in your behavior and it got me thinking."

"Thinking what, exactly… that I'm a freak?" I pouted.

"Jane, don't be silly, I don't think you're a freak. I didn't mean it that way. What I meant was, I noticed these changes and I was curious what it meant. The more I thought about it, the more I realized I was having similar reactions to you."

"Really? Like what?" I inquired.

"Like being next to you gives me chills. When I hear your voice, I smile instantly. Things like that."

"You're kidding? I thought it was only me." I said, shocked.

"Most definitely not. The more I noticed your behavior, the more I noticed mine intensifying. The way you look at me sometimes just makes me quiver."

_NO-FUCKING-WAY!_

"Wow. So where do we go from here?" I asked.

"Well, I don't think we should say that we're going to take it slow. I don't think it's realistic. We need to just let it happen as it will." Maura offered.

"That makes sense. I'm just not sure what to do." I shrugged.

Maura got up and started cleaning up the dinner plates.

"I tell you what…how about we just do what we normally do. It got us to this point and now we are on the cusp of something new. Let's not put pressure on ourselves. Let's make each other a promise though…no more assumptions and no more running away. We need to keep the lines of communication open, ok?

"I think that sounds great and again, I'm sorry about leaving the way I did tonight." I said.

"Jane, don't apologize for that… just promise to never leave me like that again."

"Ok, I can do that. I promise." I said, in a small voice.

"Good." Maura grinned.

"Now, it's late… let's get some sleep." She said as she grabbed my hand.

I was being pulled into my bedroom before I realized it. I suddenly became very nervous.

"May I have shorts and a t-shirt to sleep in?" Maura asked sweetly.

"Oh, um, yeah, help yourself." I sputtered.

_Holy shit, holy shit… what's happening?_

Maura picked out some clothes and went into the bathroom. I changed quickly. My palms were sweating and my heart was racing. I didn't know what else to do so I ran downstairs quickly to let Jo out to potty. She was taking a long time to find the perfect spot and I was getting anxious to get back upstairs.

Jo finally finished and we made our way back upstairs. I got the apartment settled for the night and went slowly into my bedroom. Maura was in bed on the right side.

"Hi." She said.

"Hi. I took Jo out real quick, since you were taking forever in the bathroom." I teased.

She laughed softly.

I went into the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror as I brushed my teeth.

_Is this really happening? Hours ago I thought my world was ending and now we are completely on the same page. Amazing. _

_Done in the bathroom, I climbed into bed and clicked the light off. I laid down on my back and nervously drummed my fingers on my stomach. Maura was laying on her right side with her back to me. After a few minutes, she rolled onto her back._

"_Are you asleep?" She asked._

"_No." I squeaked. _

"_Can we sleep like we did last night?"_

"_Wha…what do you mean?" I panicked._

"_Like this…" She said._

_She reached over with her left hand and grabbed my left. Once she found my hand she rolled back over on her right side, taking me with her. She secured my arm firmly around her torso and locked us together by interlacing her fingers with mine. I heard her sigh._

_I was still nervous and possibly holding my breath._

"_Jane?"_

"_Yes?"_

"_Relax and breathe." Maura whispered._

_I exhaled loudly._

"_There you go. Feel better?" She asked._

"_A little. Can I ask you a question?"_

"_Of course." She responded._

"_Did we really sleep like this last night?_

"_Yes, we did. However, you were much more at ease than you are now."_

"_Yeah well, I guess last night I was pretty drunk and now I'm really really nervous." I admitted._

"_Why? It's just me." She chuckled._

"_No, it's not just you…I mean it's you, but new and in a different way."_

"_You're sweet, Jane." She said._

_She raised our hands and I felt her warm soft lips on the back of my fingers._

"_Goodnight, Detective."_

_I grinned and tightened my arm around her. _

"_Goodnight, Doctor." _


End file.
